About Joseph Lee O. Expertise Greetings to you! Amidst the insufficiency of all the philosophical, religious and “self-help” approaches to relief from chronic alcoholism, I have personally experienced the content of “Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book. Thus, I can now explain at least the essence of the physical, mental and emotional aspects of an alcoholic's inherent condition and plight, and I can show why a spiritual solution is required and how it works and how to attain one.
Experience The oldest of four boys, I grew up in a religious, Midwestern-USA family. Unable to decline a friendly offer in a social setting, I had "no effective mental defense against the first drink" ("Alcoholics Anonymous", the book, page 43), and took my very first drink ever at age 24 ... and within minutes I had become obsessed with getting more of the effect that glass of homemade wine had given me. Alcohol had just done something *for* me that nothing else had ever done; it had seemingly "fixed" something inside me I had not even known was broken.
Over the next seven years of my life, I "drank up" just about everything and everyone ever meaning much to me at all, and I eventually abandoned my young family so I could drink and smoke pot at will. For, you see, alcohol was giving me a good-to-go feeling about life and a sense of control I had never before had, and at least in the early days of my drinking it could kill just about any pain that came along.
At age 31, however, circumstances and consequences had piled up all around me in ways that were making it obvious I could not continue on much longer. Life had become too tough, my pains had grown too great and the dangers of continuing to drink had become too undeniable for me to be able to continue believing I might ultimately survive an inescapable drop to the bottom of the pit. I still wanted to be able to drink safely as in days past, but something had seemingly "taken over" my drinking and was dragging me completely out-of-control after just one drink. So, and even while completely overwhelmed by the thought of facing life alcohol-free, I decided to stop drinking altogether ... and I quickly discovered I could not. No matter what I said, thought or did even just "one day at a time", I always ended up drinking once again. Where I wanted to drink safely, I could not, and neither could I remain abstinent for very long at all ... and such is the physical "allergy" (where one drink takes another) coupled with alcoholism’s mental-emotional obsession for the effect of alcohol ...
... but then I met a small group of people who personally understood my deadly dilemma - my complete personal powerlessness - and those same folks were quite able to propose a permanent solution. I accepted, of course, and today it is as if I "could not drink even if [I] would" ("Alcoholics Anonymous", the book, page 57), and for that I now remain unendingly grateful.
Question After consuming alcohol I lied and exaggerated things talking with my best friend. After years of friendship she is no more talking with me.
She trusted me and asked for my help when in need and I always obliged. The only problem was, I was a little obsessed with her and expected a lot more than she could deliver, also there was a fear that I may loose her in future.
That night there was an emotional out-burst was not only aggressive but also said thing which would have meant completely different had I been sober.
She think i broke her trust but I never meant what I said.
I am confused, how did this happen?
PLEASE help
You are my last hope
Answer Greetings to you, Rai.
You have asked:
>> why did I over react when drunk?
In an overall sense, your otherwise-usual inhibitions had been released or disengaged by the alcohol, then something on the inside of you came out. And of course, an intoxicated mind does not always see things clearly and cannot always react or respond properly.
You have written: I lied and exaggerated things ...
Even if of an unconscious or subconscious variety, there was some kind of reason or motive behind that. To keep that from happening again, you may need to find that reason or motive and do something about it.
>> I was a little obsessed with her and expected a lot more than she could deliver ...
Stemming from unsatisfied desire or expectation, maybe there was a bit of pain and some resulting anger behind whatever you said?
>> ... also there was a fear that I may loose her in future.
Fear can also lead to angry outbursts, and fear can stem from selfishness or self-centeredness.
>> ... said things which would have meant completely different had I been sober.
>> I never meant what I said.
>> I am confused, how did this happen?
Alcohol can impair good judgment in nearly anyone, and words spoken cannot always be overcome. Look to see what you can add to your friend’s life without expecting anything in return, then accept things in whatever ways they are.
