Addiction to Alcohol/Alcoholic Husband

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Expert: - 7/25/2009


Question
My husband has recently started to become unbearable to deal with. I thought maybe I was just stressed out from being stuck at home with a newborn and 6 year old. However I have been told by my mother in law that my husband is drinking. She dealt with him from his pre-teens until 3 years ago with his addictions. Alcohol has always been a main problem in his life. However when he met me and decided he wanted to have a family, not the bottle. He has been great for about 2 years. I can honestly say there were no suspicions of drinking at all. The past 6 months has gotten sketchy though. We have been fighting a lot, and his mother swears he is drinking again. She says she smells it on him, and can see it in his body language. I don't know what to think. I want to believe that he is telling the truth, but the signs are there. I just do not have any real proof that he is. Until today, he slipped up, I found cans stashed at the bottom of our outdoor trash can. And the way he was acting today was the same he acted all those times when his mom said that he was drinking. How to I confront him about this and make him realize that this is unacceptable? I have no where to go with the kids, so I will not threaten to leave, because I cannot follow through with that. And he would never leave himself. I am so confused.

Answer

Beverley Glazer MA. IC
Hi Kris,

Alcoholics are very good at hiding drinks, cans etc, but his mother knows the signs and finally you have the evidence.

Your husband will probably deny, or lie to you, and he most likely intends to quit again, but he's having difficulty. Demand, for the sake of the family that he gets help. There are many treatments available for alcoholism. Here are a few:

http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com/treatment-available.html

He may have to attend AA meetings or speak to an addiction counselor, but the sooner he gets on track the better.

You would also benefit from attending Alanon meetings. The members can be very supportive because all of them are in your situation. There is no need to leave him right now, but be firm, tell him you love him, and demand that he gets help.

I hope this information is helpful,

Thank you for asking All Experts

Good luck!!

Beverley Glazer MA, ICADC
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com  

Beverley Glazer

Expertise

I can answer questions on all addictive behaviors: alcohol, drugs, food, compulsive sex, codependency, gambling, compulsive shoplifting etc.

Experience

I have over 20 years experience working in the addiction field. My experience extends to all levels of substance abuse. I've worked in rehabs and detox centers, prisons and half-way houses and have a busy private practice as well as an active website where I can be reached for recovery coaching and consultation. I am a cognitive behavioral therapist, but 12-step programs are an excellent support. When working in the addiction field, there is no cookie-cutter solution. In the recovery field, you witness miracles. That's why I love what I do.

Organizations
NAADAC The Association for Addiction Professionals, CACCF Canadian Addiction Counselors Federation, CCA Canadian Counseling Association, For more information please see: http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com

Education/Credentials
BA Psychology, MA Counseling Psychology, ICADC International Alcohol and Drug Counselor, ICAC International Clinical Addiction Counselor, CGC Certified Gambling Counselor.

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