Expert: Druideck - 7/5/2009

Question
I HAVE BEEN DATING MY BOYFRIEND FOR 6 MONTHS. IM COMPLETELY IN LOVE WITH HIM. HE HASNT DRANK IN 2 years and when i first met him he never said he is an "alcoholic" just that he didnt wanna put bad things in his body. so i thought he was a health freak and thats cool. i drink a couple drinks a week and he said he didnt mind. over the 6 months more and more has come out and he said he quit drinking cause he didnt like the person he was on alcohol and he could never have just one drink. this morning he said he feels like drinking again maybe but that he wont but that he needs to hang out with his sober friends more. which is making me think that maybe i shouldnt drink around him at all?? hes a bartender so he is around alcohol all the time. i just wanted some advice cause this is all new to me? thanks:)

Answer
Leanne,

It can be tough for a recovering alcoholic
in the first year or more depending
on the person.

It may not be good for him to have
people drinking around him but
once he has his recovery in hand he
should be able to handle being
around alcohol. An alcoholic
can not hide from alcohol but
in the early days of recovery it
is probably better not to be tempted.

He may need encouragment to be
more honest without fearing
any bad consequences.
Many alcoholics are worried about
the reactions they may get by
being honest and admitting their
difficulty with drinking.

It is a good sign that he recognizes
the danger in drinking and his need
to be around sober friends to maintain
his sobriety.

It is important that he puts his sobriety
first as his survival may depend on it.
Alcoholics are learning how to live
sober and are not used to dealing
with emotions well.

Give him the space he needs and encourage
him to do what he needs to do to ensure
his recovery. Your support will be welcome
and if he develops a good solid recovery
will ensure a happy future as well.

I hope he has some foundation in Alcoholics
Anonymous as this is a good program
for staying sober long term.

Feel free to write again if need be.