Expert: Clyde - 7/14/2009

Question
Okay - I know it's a toughie, but does one cause the other?  Is one an excuse for the other?  Where do you go first....AA or a therapist?

Answer
Ann,
    Thank you for your question and it is a good one.  I can only speak from my own personal experience from which I have formulated some definite opinions.

    Depression for me was a state of mind, not a state of body.  I did not understand the feeling and I was afraid to look into the matter on a real serious level.  I can only say after quite some time in recovery that it was fear .  This has allowed me to be honest with myself and others about the fear.  Fear stifles one's ability to get on through life with joy and happiness even though some tough stuff can come our way.

    So, I do not come from the place of what some call today "clinical depression."  I may have exhibited evidence of this but I do not know.  There may be some people who are in this category so I do not speak about that type in my own case.

    Alcohol entered into my life at an early age and I found that it helped to cope with life - the good and the bad, the fears and the hopes, the ups and the downs, etc - mostly FEAR!  Alcohol use became a way of life - the only way of life - for some 20 years.  I lost a sense of who I really was as and I describe a "false self" that became my outward appearance to the world - the facade, if you will, - to project to you.  Inside there was great loneliness and emptiness.  Alcohol only deepened this but, once caught in the alcoholic cycle, there was no escape.

    I hope this gives you some idea of how things began for me in my alcoholism.  There is so much that can be said but let this suffice to answer the reasons why I found it necessary to drink.

    As to AA or therapy - well, it is a matter of how honest, open, and willing the person really wants to be about their own alcohol use and how seriously they want to learn a better way.  Therapy is good but I suggest it is not the best way to begin the road to recovery.  I suggest AA is the better way because of the support one can come to realize is out there 24 hours a day from fellow alcoholics who can show the newcomer how to not drink just for today.  Their stories which are told from the heart and deeply honest helps one to get a perspective on their own "secrets" and how drinking plays such a vital part in their own lifestyles.  Many find that this avenue of recovery fully suffices for them to get honest with themselves and to discover who they really are.  And all this is basically free of charge!  No one demands one pay for the benefits of the rooms of AA but we are self-supporting, declining out side contributions, and we ask for $1.00 in our Seventh tradition to help defray the costs of the meeting hall rental and coffee supplies and literature.  That is a pretty reasonable cost.

    Now, if one wants to learn to be honest and open and willing to really change what needs to be changed, I suggest that $1.00 beats $150.00 per hour that it may cost to see a therapist for a few minutes every couple of weeks.  I have my opinions of our health system that places such an emphasis on compensation for the PH.D. doing the therapy rather than on the health of the patient ( my editorial).

    For myself, I have found it exciting to read a vast amount of literature of all genres to come to an understanding of who I am.  I have continued to learn things about me through these readings and I have come a long way from the scared, depressed person I may have been 15 years ago.  The deepest help and healing has come from building my spiritual life and it is fascinating to learn about soul.
I have also sought the counsel of professionals along the way as I dealt with some personal issues.  But it was not the highpowered professional, but a therapist who really had a deep understanding of their own gifts and graces of caring and listening to someone who was ready to be honest.  How many people go to therapists for years and years and never do get honest?  I submit to you there are great numbers that fall into this category.  

    In closing, until one opens up with truth and honesty, I do not think it is possible to know whether the depressions are clinical or pathological or just miserable because one is hooked on booze - a tremendous depressant.  By being honest, one will know whether the professionals are needed to further one's own recovery.

    I hope that this experience, strength and hope has helped answer some of your question and if I can be of any further help, please write again.

Grace and Peace,
Clyde