Expert: Druideck - 8/6/2009

Question
QUESTION: My sister currently is in a Rehab facility my parents put her in. She wanted to go but now after a week she doesn't seem as motivated to be there. She thinks she can go home and be fine but she was constantly hiding and steeling alcohol from anyone. She doesn't open up much and express her feelings to any of us like we thought would happen. Is it too soon to tell? Would you recomend additional counseling other than the program?

ANSWER: Rebekah,

Making a change in her lifestyle is going
to be a big challenge for your sister.
I would suggest the rehab idea sounded
like fun at first or at least some hope
for better things for her.
Now she sees it is not an instant cure
the denial sets in and she thinks she
knows enough to stay sober or starts
to feel apethetic to staying away
from alcohol. Giving up drinking is
tough and involves a grieving similar
to when a person has a loss of something
they depend on heavily or desire greatly.
It is far too soon for her to have grasped
the necessities of sobriety.
She may be feeling very uncomfortable
or feeling like she really does
not have a problem and is different from
the other drinkers.
These are normal thought struggles
for a person in recovery.
I believe she may stay sober awhile
just on will power but without establishing
a way of living which is only touched upon
in rehab she will relapse and drink again.
I strongly urge her to stay with the rehab
program and upon release attend daily
or as many Alcoholics Anonymous meetings
she can get to. This is where she will
learn how to live sober.
Without this she will fall back on familiar
patterns of hiding alcohol and drinking.
If she wants to leave rehab as least
try to get her to AA.
When she feels like drinking she can
go to AA or talk to any of the sober
people there. This is a substiute for
taking the first drink which
will lead her back to drink again.

Hope this helps you with your decisions
regarding your sister.
Also she can write to me if she has any questions
about rehab, AA, recovery.










---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I thought there would be a period of this going on. I know it is too soon to tell. Can you tell me how long this could last with her? You have realy helped me understanding this period she is going through.

Answer
Rebekah,

her struggle will be in coming to terms
with the denial which is part
of alcoholic illness.
She has to reach a point where it
really hits home that she needs
help and unfortunately this can
take some time. I was in a rehab/
treatment facility in August (24 years ago)and
after various struggles to stay
sober on my own I ended up giving
in to attending AA steadily in about
Nov/December. I have been sober
ever since that day of complete
surrender. I knew if I drank
I would die as I could not stop.
I became very serious about not
drinking and became teachable.
Every person has their own timetable
however and your sister could
do worse or better depending on
how much she fights getting help.
It requires much surrender of
false pride and doing things
you don't like at first.
It requires relearning things
you thought you knew.
It is a process of maturing
and becoming responsible.
This part of sobriety is a
lifetimes work.
Your sister will have her struggles
but always encourage her in activities
that involve getting or staying sober.
Alcoholics have much pride and much fear
that needs to be overcome.
She may not see things as clearly as you.
She will need time to sort out her
thoughts and feelings and to take
small steps leading to hopefully a
full recovery at some point.
Try not to set a timetable as
this is a lifetime process of change.
It is hard and frustrating at times
and joyous at other times.