Expert: Jan Edward Williams - 9/19/2009

Question
I have an alcoholic daughter who is completely in denial about her problem.  We've always been very close, but recently she met someone who she claims she's in love with.  After knowing him 3 weeks, she moved out of our house and into his and continues to drink heavily every day.  She does not answer our phone calls, or text messages.  It's like she's wiped us out of her lives.  I'm having a difficult time figuring out how she can dis-own us after all these years.  She's is not in any treatment, nor will she go for any since she's convinced she doesn't "have a problem".  She insists she can stop at any time, but is happier now than she's ever been in her life.  I'm so worried about this path of destruction that will lead to a "brick wall" that she may not survive.  As a parent it is painful to watch this happen and not be able to help her at all.  She drinks at least a quart of Vodka every day.  How long will it before this has some effect on her physical being?  How do other parents cope with this?

Answer
Hello Ann,
I am so sorry you have to experiemce the pain of alcoholism in your child. For me, it's been 3 out of five children with the problem; 2 are in recovery; one is not; and it hurts. Women tend to suffer physical damage from drinking faster than men, but it is impossible to predict when these negatives may develop. The two ways I know to handle the pain of this situation are these: 1) maintain a strong relationship with a source of spiritual strength to help you, and pray for your daughter to become aware of the need to address her alcoholism; 2) consider attending meetings of Al-Anon, the 12 Step Program for those in a relationship with an alcoholic (http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/). I suggest repeatedly telling your daughter that you love her and hope that she will get help for her alcohol problem. You may also give her my website to look at to see if she has a problem. Good luck.
Jan Edward Williams, MS, JD, LCADC
www.alcoholdrugsos.com