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This afternoon call from police-close, profoundly deaf relative in jail again "obstructing and fighting w/police, arraignment A.M., $10,000 cash bond. I went to p.u. parked car, left in bar pkg.lot. I think I got it in terms of "not enabling," but wonder if I really, really have to let her "hit bottom" when "hitting bottom," means she will probably be raped/killed on the streets. 40 yrs. of this, got her into detox once for 6 weeks. She has no intention of stopping drinking,wants to die. Appeciate insight, thanks.
Hello Mary,
I regret the delay in responding to your question. I have been ill. It's never too late to try to get an alcoholic into treatment. You never know when the individual might have a moment of clarity in which she might be open to help. Of course, avoiding enabling does not mean allowing a person to suffer death. I am wondering if you might have some leverage to force this woman into treatment in order to avoid incarceration. If you can, I would suggest talking with her attorney and/or the prosecutor in her case to try to condition any probation on her getting treatment and staying sober. I also suggest you consider attending meetings of Al-Anon: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ In Al-Anon you can find support from others who have been in relationships with an alcoholic. Good luck.
Jan Edward Williams, MS, JD, LCADC
http://www.alcoholdrugsos.com
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| Rating(1-10) | Knowledgeability = 5 | Clarity of Response = 10 | Politeness = 10 |
| Comment | Just to let you know that when dealing with an alcoholic, profoundly deaf person, it really is a different ballgame, everything has to be interpreted. Your life is always upside down because many of the people who do deal with her come to you when they give up. Constantly throwing everything back into your lap as if you are somehow the culprit in this.doctors can be the worst blame finders. Her disasters turn into my disasters. The jail released her Monday night, I drove her home. One of the problems is that she is beautiful, in spite of the ravages and with make-up and clothes she just sashays into public places and people are so caught up in her looks and she knows it. The medical officer from the jail called me to assure me that she was "warm, safe and dry" and not to worry cause they would take care of her. I am just rambling but wanted you to know that all the same rules apply with most alcoholics but not really, not deafness. She has to return to court on Monday, I almost hope they keep her cause then she would be forced to stay away from alcohol, but then I'll be stuck with her pets, etc. I thank you for your response, I just don't know at this time whether I can summon up the "care" to go to court with her and speak in her behalf. They will provide an interpreter, but being as that she was on probation they may not give her another break, on the other hand, keeping deaf people in jail during these trying times isn't really feasible.Incarceration might be the best thing for her, perhaps clarity could rise above the carnage. thanks so much for just reading this. I don't need a response. Just knowing that there are people out there like you who respond is good enough.M | ||
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Addiction to Alcohol
Answers by Expert:
Jan Edward Williams
Expertise
all questions related to drug or alcohol addiction, except those requiring the expertise of a physician or those relating to mental health problems apart from addiction. See my web site: http://www.alcoholdrugsos.com
Experience
I have been working as a licensed addictions counselor for 29 years and am in recovery myself for 31 years
Organizations
Licensed Clinical Professional Counselors Maryland
Maryland Addictions Professional Certification Board
Education/Credentials
MS Counseling
Licensed Clinical Alcohol and Drug Counselor, Maryland
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