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Addiction to Alcohol/addiction
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Question
Goodmorning...my husband is an alcoholic and has a very addictive
personality. I have just recently after 6 yrs decided i will not accept
drinking in my life..there are mood swings and questions of..would u like
to have a drink..
He has turned to video games and at times very distant.
I am looking for some tools to get through this. My concern is that this
addiction will turn another way...life seems to be all about him now and i
am trying to keep my eye out for signs.
In the past he has quit and said he has a problem...now he says he
doesnt have a problem..
Thank you
Nanci
Hi Nanci,
)
It sounds like your husband is in denial of his drinking problem, and I agree, it's going to get worse. Unfortunately, you have no control over his drinking, or any of his compulsive behaviors. He will do what he likes regardless. However, you must not make it easy for him.
This is called enabling and here's more information on this:
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com/enabling-behavior.html
It's so easy to enable an alcoholic/addict, but the more you do it, the more they'll stay in denial, because they don't have to suffer the consequences of their behavior. He must see how his drinking is impacting his life.
Don't make it easy by making excuses for him. Do what you have to do, and go places without him if he chooses not to go. Stand up for yourself, and tell him how you feel -- but he won't like it.
It can also be helpful to go to Al-Anon meetings, to understand the process of addiction and how to handle it. You'll also develop a network of people, who are going through similar problems and this will help you stay strong.
Living with an alcoholic can be very draining, but don't make it 'all about him'. The more you become assertive and he sees he doesn't have control over you, the more power you have to stand up to him and demand that he seeks help.
I hope this information is helpful,
Thank you for asking AllExperts
All the best,
Bev
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com
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Answers by Expert:
Beverley Glazer
Expertise
I can answer questions on all addictive behaviors: alcohol, drugs, food, compulsive sex, codependency, gambling, compulsive shoplifting etc.
Experience
I have over 20 years experience working in the addiction field. My experience extends to all levels of substance abuse. I've worked in rehabs and detox centers, prisons and half-way houses and have a busy private practice as well as an active website where I can be reached for recovery coaching and consultation. I am a cognitive behavioral therapist, but 12-step programs are an excellent support. When working in the addiction field, there is no cookie-cutter solution. In the recovery field, you witness miracles. That's why I love what I do.
Organizations
NAADAC The Association for Addiction Professionals, CACCF Canadian Addiction Counselors Federation, CCA Canadian Counseling Association,
For more information please see: http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com
Education/Credentials
BA Psychology, MA Counseling Psychology, ICADC International Alcohol and Drug Counselor, ICAC International Clinical Addiction Counselor,
CGC Certified Gambling Counselor.
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