Expert: Druideck - 10/2/2010

Question
I think my boyfriend might be an alcoholic. We've been
dating for almost a year and a half, he's 21 and I'm 22. He
drinks almost every day. Sometimes it'll only be a drink or
two, sometimes he'll go through a half a bottle of whiskey
or gin and I'll be surprised when I see the bottle in the
freezer or fridge because I had no idea he was drinking that
much. A week ago he kissed another girl outside of our
apartment and tonight several friends were over having a low
key evening. We played a board game and all had a drink or
two, except for my bf who got so drunk he was stumbling. He
threw up three times before bed. I told him I thought we
needed to get him into counseling for his drinking and he
just rolled over and went to sleep. When does drinking cross
over from problem drinking to alcoholism? Should counseling
be something I push for even if he isn't technically an
alcoholic?

Answer
Eva,

Generally alcoholism is characterized by loss
of control. It sounds like your boyfriend
is starting to lose control of how much
he drinks and also when and where.

Alcoholics have a craving for alcohol.
This means they become very upset
when someone tries to take it away.

I would suggest him or indirectly you doing some online tests
for alcohol problems. This may identify the
extent of his problem:

http://depression.about.com/od/screeningtools/l/blmast.htm
http://www.mhsanctuary.com/tests/alcotest.htm
http://counsellingresource.com/quizzes/alcohol-mast/index.html

Also bear in mind that most alcoholics
do not quit for others, the desire must
be their own for any lasting sobriety.

He will experience more difficulties due
to drinking as time goes on.
These will include paranoia, stunted emotional
growth, relational problems, and a decline in
spiritual values. Also problems with the law
are possible. (drunk driving, fights, etc.)

If he fails the online tests I would suggest
talking to an alcohol counsellor or
attending a few AA meetings to see if anything
sounds familiar.

Alcoholism is deadly and is an illness that
can be treated with his cooperation.
Many alcoholics do not feel motivated to
quit until things get very bad unfortunately.

If you need support attend some Alanon meetings.
They have much information on living
with a practising alcoholic.

You cannot control alcoholism, it is a
definable illness that is composed of
mental and physical characteristics.
Without treatment and regular AA meetings
the addiction is uncontrollable.

If he finds that he cannot stop drinking
for any length of time or he is experiencing
many problems due to alcohol use then
he is addicted and needs help to stop.

Many people drink but a few are susceptible
to alcoholism probably due to some
genetic difference. This is not their fault
but recovery is their resposibility.

Here is an alcoholism progression chart:
http://www.umass.edu/fsap/articles/alcoholism%20chart.pdf

Good luck always!
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