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Addiction to Alcohol/follow up
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thank you for your quick response...and you are right...I am focused on his drinking...But I am focused on our marriage and the loss of the 'us' of who we are...And, I have asked him about three times in the past 2 years to go to couple's counseling and he's said no. (Mind you, we have done Retrovaille and Focus on Family weekends ---3 total to get ourselves at a good, loving place and he's not open to more right now.Not even the follow up events. At one point, we even helped other couples believe it or not.) I have told him kindly and lovingly my feelings and concerns...I have also been wildy a shrew about his alcohol in my desperation that my genuine sharing did zip to move him.
Any other suggestions?
BTW I have joined an on line AA group and have begun this today...and I found another AA meeting that is on Tuesday mornings...still 35 minutes away, but I'll re-create my schedule to get this to work.
Thank you again.
S
Hi again Susan,
)
Good stuff.
The primary problem for families of alcoholics is that there is so much focus on the alcoholic that they lose themselves in the process.
It appears that your husband is in denial of how his drinking impacts his health as well as what it's doing to you. Because he's' functional', he wants to keep things as they are.
Unfortunatly, only and alcoholic can change his behavior, so you have to accept that 'it is what it is' and not drive yourself crazy about it.
Eventually he may get a 'wake-up' call, but until that happens, you mustn't lose site of taking care of yourself.
Thanks for your feedback,
All the best
Bev
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com
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| Rating(1-10) | Knowledgeability = 10 | Clarity of Response = 10 | Politeness = 10 |
| Comment | I needed the 'shot in the arm'...NOT a fix, more like the wake up call from a person who doesn't really know me to simply state facts. Also, thank you...and I am grateful to have 'chosen' you as the expert...I have just seen Ms. Glazer's website and it is SO helpful. Overall, I am graced by this experience. | ||
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Answers by Expert:
Beverley Glazer
Expertise
I can answer questions on all addictive behaviors: alcohol, drugs, food, compulsive sex, codependency, gambling, compulsive shoplifting etc.
Experience
I have over 20 years experience working in the addiction field. My experience extends to all levels of substance abuse. I've worked in rehabs and detox centers, prisons and half-way houses and have a busy private practice as well as an active website where I can be reached for recovery coaching and consultation. I am a cognitive behavioral therapist, but 12-step programs are an excellent support. When working in the addiction field, there is no cookie-cutter solution. In the recovery field, you witness miracles. That's why I love what I do.
Organizations
NAADAC The Association for Addiction Professionals, CACCF Canadian Addiction Counselors Federation, CCA Canadian Counseling Association,
For more information please see: http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com
Education/Credentials
BA Psychology, MA Counseling Psychology, ICADC International Alcohol and Drug Counselor, ICAC International Clinical Addiction Counselor,
CGC Certified Gambling Counselor.
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