Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 2/28/2010

Question
I recently found out that my son, 22, has been drinking alcohol.  He has been hiding empty beer cans, vodka and wine bottles in his closets.  We completely stopped giving him money.  He runs arround and asks his cousins for $5, $10.. we told them to not give him any money.  We sat him down and talked to him on several occations and he said he is so depressed and he drinks just to num and destruct himself.  We told him if depressed, he should go get help; at first he refused but finally he was conveinced and started seeng a psycologist and after one visit, he referred him to a psyciatrist (we didn't understand why).  He doesn't want to talk why he is depressed.  The dr. put him on anti-depressant.  My problem is he still drinks whenever he gets a chance and I am so worried and concerned.  He doesn't want to work, quit college, and sits 24/7 in front of computers. And today he came to me and asked me for $10 to buy alcohol and when I said no he said he felt so negative that he needed to num himself to feel better.  His face looked strage and he did not seem ok. I told him he has a problem and needs to go to rehab but he said no and said all he wanted was num himself.  He even said the alcohol helps him for his depression. I know it is not going to help him, of course, it will make him feel worse in the long run. He also told me he finished his medication and need to see his dr. to get a refill.  I don't even know if he is taking his medication properly. He doesn't want to talk about his depression, doesn't want to go to AA or rehalb, doesn't admit he has a problem I do not know what to do.  Is it ok to contact his dr or councellor? Any help will be deeply appreciated.  Thank you for your time.

very worried and concerned mom
Sara

Answer
Dear Sara

I definitely would contact his counselors. You may want to consider an intervention, where the family confronts the alcoholic/addict and insists they get help. You also need to go to Alanon, a support group for victims of alcoholics. That program has a lot of practical suggestions.