Expert: Clyde - 3/18/2010

Question
hi
i think my boyfreind may be a binge drinker or alchoholic.when i met him he had been split up from his ex for 2 yrs,after being together with her for 11 yrs,plus they have 2 kids together.he took it really bad&took to alchol to cope with the situation.at the beginning of our relationship he still drank alot,then it got better.when we row he takes to alchol,think it will make things better but obvouisly it doesnt.also when he has a drink on maybe a saturday,he would push it&have a drink on the sunday dinnertime&night time.maybe the monday dinnertime too.can you please explain to me why this has to happen.
thanks.

Answer
Emma,
  Thank you for your question.  Alcoholism is cunning baffling and powerful.  It is too much for us to handle alone so we need help in understanding that the alcohol has taken over our life.  It has become the coping mechanism you mention and it is a crutch.  Unless a person is willing to admit that drinking is a problem, then not much can be done.  I hope he comes to the point where he will investigate a little and discover that he is addicted to the effects of alcohol.

   You did nor cause this; you can not cure it; and you can not control it.

   I know this is not much to go on but it is the baseline truth - he must want to check out what it means to live sober.

Grace and Peace,
Clyde