Expert: Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist - 3/22/2010

Question
My husband has been an addict for majority of life.  After hell he put me thru he FINALLY went to rehab and got clean. I dont know which is worse. Except now he doesnt hit me.  I have 2 young boys who adore him but the problem is he is so narcasistic and judgemental.  I go out w/ my girls every 2 months if that.  I cant stand being around him much and of course he's been very judgementsl.  Suddenly he's belittling me about the meds my doc prescribes for my ADD and telling me Ive got to get sober. I csant take it but financially I am stuck. He thinks AA and church saves him but he is still emotionally and psycologically abusive. Is this gonna get easier? I cant take it and I am truly at the end of my personal rope. Please tell me if this behavior is normal.  I alost think he's making things up in his head so he can say things about me to peers family, courts etc. luckily I no body who knows me believes him but it embarrassing. I truly hate him even more than I used to,

Answer
HI sully,

Well I think he has really not been treated for his addiction. He seems to have a need to put you down in order to put himself up. In other words he is still struggling with a low self-image himself.  I don't know whether it is possible for you to leave him, but if you want to do this you surely need social support. Have you got any family to help you out. The alternative to go for therapy. We have a self-help psychotherapy program that may take some time to study. If you want to straighten out your relationship with you should both study this program together.

First of all you need to understand the biochemical nature of alcoholism or addiction. Staying off drugs is not necessarily a cure for an addictive behaviour and personality problems. Please read:

Why Alcoholics Drink? at
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/WAD.html

Alcoholism (Addiction) is a Treatable Disease at:
http://curezone.com/upload/PDF/Articles/jurplesman/alcoholism_treatable.pdf

Drug Addiction is a Nutritional Disorder at:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/drug_addictions_nutritional_disorder.htm...

The first step in treatment is going on a hypoglycemic diet. If problems persist, it is best to consult a Nutritional Doctor, Clinical Nutritionist or a Nutritional Psychologist.

Then study:

Summary of Self-help Pyschotherapy at:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/self-help_personal_growth.html#PSYCHOTHE...

in its entirety from beginning to end. It includes a program showing you how to overcome a negative self-image, and assertiveness training program, how to defend yourself against criticism, communication course and values clarification course. Most people can learn these skills by reading these articles over and over again. This program is also available in my book "Getting off the Hook" which is freely available on the internet at Google Book Search. Use our "Search our Web Site" for more information on topics entered in the search engine.

_______________________________________________
Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist
Hon. Editor of
The Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia.
www.hypoglycemia.asn.au
Author of "Getting off the Hook"
Freely available at Google Book Search
Skype: jurplesman