Addiction to Alcohol/unemotional

Advertisement

Expert: - 4/6/2010


Question
why is my recovering alcoholic husband unemotional towards me . when i said to him we should may be live apart he just agreed.

Answer

Beverley Glazer MA. IC
Hi Caroleanne,

There may be many reasons for your husband's behavior, but this shouldn't be overlooked:

When someone is new to recovery, they're often only focused only on not drinking, but there are also psychological things that must be addressed.

There are the feelings and emotions that alcohol has masked. Now he has to deal with them and it's not easy.

This is what AA calls being 'clean but not sober'. AA deals with the psychological area by doing the 12 steps.

They are:
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com/12-step-program-of-aa.html

If your husband goes to AA you can suggest that he gets a sponsor and work the steps with him. If your husband is not in the program, he should see a professional who is experienced in addiction. Many of life's issues now affect him and he can't 'self medicate' them away any long.

Failing the other 2 options, another suggestion is that the two of you go for couple counseling. This may be a couple issues, it would be beneficial to  work them out. Getting couple therapy after recovery is very common because this is now a new relationship for both of you.

I hope this information is helpful,

Thank you for asking AllExperts,

All the best,

Bev
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com  

Beverley Glazer

Expertise

I can answer questions on all addictive behaviors: alcohol, drugs, food, compulsive sex, codependency, gambling, compulsive shoplifting etc.

Experience

I have over 20 years experience working in the addiction field. My experience extends to all levels of substance abuse. I've worked in rehabs and detox centers, prisons and half-way houses and have a busy private practice as well as an active website where I can be reached for recovery coaching and consultation. I am a cognitive behavioral therapist, but 12-step programs are an excellent support. When working in the addiction field, there is no cookie-cutter solution. In the recovery field, you witness miracles. That's why I love what I do.

Organizations
NAADAC The Association for Addiction Professionals, CACCF Canadian Addiction Counselors Federation, CCA Canadian Counseling Association, For more information please see: http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com

Education/Credentials
BA Psychology, MA Counseling Psychology, ICADC International Alcohol and Drug Counselor, ICAC International Clinical Addiction Counselor, CGC Certified Gambling Counselor.

©2012 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.