Addiction to Alcohol/Drinking

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Expert: - 5/6/2010


Question
My Husband drinks.  He says he hasn't got a problem and could stop but he is over 18 and therefore he can drink.  He sleeps all day and has no interest in me or our children.  How do I get him to see he is killing our marriage? And do something about his drinking?

Answer

Beverley Glazer MA. IC
Hi Sarah,

Unfortunately your husband is right. He is over 18 and can drink as much as he likes. He says that he doesn't have a problem and this is what's called 'denial'. Denying the problem keeps his drinking behavior. No matter what you say or do, you'll only be irritating him and you'll get into arguments that go nowhere.

The alcoholic has to see for himself that he's going to lose everything if he keeps up his drinking. This is why you must stop enabling him in any way. He has to suffer the consequences.

Here is more information on that:

http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com/enabling-behavior.html

To help you stay strong, Al-anon meetings would be helpful. These meetings are for families of alcoholic/addicts and it's a great support network.

Keep telling him that you love him and that he's ruining his health, his marriage and his relationship with the kids. Keep demanding that he goes to meetings or get counseling, but don't get into arguments. Just say it and nothing more.

The important thing is to take care of yourself and the kids.  Make sure he suffers the consequences of his behavior.

Do what ever you need to do, and if he doesn't 'get it', for the sake of your sanity, as well as the family, you may have to move on.

I hope this information is helpful
Thank you for asking AllExperts

All the best

Bev
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com  

Beverley Glazer

Expertise

I can answer questions on all addictive behaviors: alcohol, drugs, food, compulsive sex, codependency, gambling, compulsive shoplifting etc.

Experience

I have over 20 years experience working in the addiction field. My experience extends to all levels of substance abuse. I've worked in rehabs and detox centers, prisons and half-way houses and have a busy private practice as well as an active website where I can be reached for recovery coaching and consultation. I am a cognitive behavioral therapist, but 12-step programs are an excellent support. When working in the addiction field, there is no cookie-cutter solution. In the recovery field, you witness miracles. That's why I love what I do.

Organizations
NAADAC The Association for Addiction Professionals, CACCF Canadian Addiction Counselors Federation, CCA Canadian Counseling Association, For more information please see: http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com

Education/Credentials
BA Psychology, MA Counseling Psychology, ICADC International Alcohol and Drug Counselor, ICAC International Clinical Addiction Counselor, CGC Certified Gambling Counselor.

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