Addiction to Alcohol/drunk boyfriend

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Expert: - 6/25/2010


Question
i have been with my bf for 6 years now. for the past 3 years he has really developed a horrible drinking habbit. I love him and am terribly concerned for his well being as well as our relationship. How do i make him wake up and realize he is not only hurting himself but me, our relationship and others around his as well?

Answer

Beverley Glazer MA. IC
Hi Sela,

Your boyfriend is in denial about his drinking, as well as the effect that it has on your relationship, so no matter what you tell him, he'll ignore it or feel that you're nagging. He must get out of denial to see the consequences of his behavior for himself. Unfortunately, no matter what you do or say at this point, won't make much of an impact.

One way of get him to see consequences is by not enabling him in any way.  Here's some information on this:

http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com/enabling-behavior.html

The more you enable an alcoholic, the longer they'll avoid getting help.

If other friends or family members notice his habbit, tell them to mention it to him. The more people who tell him the better. He won't like it, but that doesn't matter. They're telling him the truth and he may give it some thought. The pressure shouldn't only come from you.

At this point, your boyfriend may not be an alcoholic, so the sooner he gets help the better. It would also help you to go to AlAnon meetings. Not only will you learn more about his behavior, but the members will be a strengh to you if things get out of hand.

I hope this information is helpful,

Thank you for asking AllExperts

All the best!

Bev
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com

Beverley Glazer

Expertise

I can answer questions on all addictive behaviors: alcohol, drugs, food, compulsive sex, codependency, gambling, compulsive shoplifting etc.

Experience

I have over 20 years experience working in the addiction field. My experience extends to all levels of substance abuse. I've worked in rehabs and detox centers, prisons and half-way houses and have a busy private practice as well as an active website where I can be reached for recovery coaching and consultation. I am a cognitive behavioral therapist, but 12-step programs are an excellent support. When working in the addiction field, there is no cookie-cutter solution. In the recovery field, you witness miracles. That's why I love what I do.

Organizations
NAADAC The Association for Addiction Professionals, CACCF Canadian Addiction Counselors Federation, CCA Canadian Counseling Association, For more information please see: http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com

Education/Credentials
BA Psychology, MA Counseling Psychology, ICADC International Alcohol and Drug Counselor, ICAC International Clinical Addiction Counselor, CGC Certified Gambling Counselor.

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