Expert: Druideck - 9/30/2010

Question
My question is, is it wrong of me to continue drinking in a normal/controlled manor, even though my boyfriend is in a.a.? I am 22 years old, and my boyfriend and i have been together for about 2 years. I am very sensitive to his progress towards sobriety, yet wonder if it is morally wrong of me to continue drinking while he is in aa. I have agreed to not drink when we are out together, but don't see the harm in me drinking with my girlfriends if he isn't there. What is your advise?
Thanks, Jen

Answer
Jennifer,

It is not a moral question to drink or not to drink.
If a person experiences problems due to drinking
then they have to address that.

If your boyfriend is newly sober then he
may have some difficulty being around old
drinking haunts or people that are drinking.

He has a responsibility to himself to stay
sober. If you have no problems as a result
of your drinking then it is your choice
either way.

At some point he may be able to handle
social situations that involve drinkers
better. It is not a good idea to tempt
oneself in early sobriety however.
If being around you tempts him to drink
then that is not good.
If you can drink and maintain the relationship
safely then do as you will.

Sobriety is a matter of life and
death for an alcoholic but they cannot
hide from alcohol and drinkers
forever. There will always be someone
drinking somewhere.

To sum up, he must learn to handle other people
drinking but in early sobriety it is
better to stay away from temptations.

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