Expert: Clyde - 1/1/2011

Question
Ok.  As someone who doesn't understand alcoholism, I attempted to watch a few movies to get a feel for it.  The two most prominent in this immersion to understand were:  Drunks http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112907/ that details an AA meeting and 28 days http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0191754/  which describes the rehab experience.   I realize these are simply slices that reflect only a small portion of what it is, but to someone with absolutely no knowledge of this culture, vastly eye opening.

My questions are-- Why do Alcoholics need to go to AA meetings?  (is it like a 'mental brush your teeth every day' sort of thing?)  and can someone do recovery with minimal AA meetings but have sponsorship?   Is is a requirement for life?  Are you always in recovery, or do you get to recovered?  And what are the benefits and downsides of AA meetings?

Thanks in advance,

Mary

Answer
Mary,
   Thank you for your questions.  They are good ones.

   Alcoholics need to go to meetings to learn how not to drink - how to avoid picking up a drink - they need the camaraderie of people who "have been there done that."  Only by immersing oneself with winners in the battle to stay sober does the active drunk have a chance to do good and get the message - that alcoholics drink for the wrong reasons.

   The number of meetings per week is not set in stone.  One needs to attend enough to stay committed to the program of recovery.  That may be many or it may be few.  No one can say but it is my experience that the more is probably always better.  One always needs to have sponsorship, primarily for reasons of having someone to whom one is accountable.  Only by being truthful and brutally honest with at least one person, can the alcoholic hope to make the changes needed to escape the throes of alcoholism.  See, an alcoholic begins to lie to themselves at some point and can not be free of the lies alcohol tells us about our disease unless one shares the truth about why we think drinking is an option.  

   The Big Book uses the word "recovered" not recovering so I am of the opinion that we are recovered but can never safely take alcohol in any form.  Recovered is a word that also has in it the feeling that one needs to pay back the program for having given us a new lease on life.  For that reason, we attend meetings not for ourselves but for the still active alcoholic who walks through the doors wanting to learn how not to drink.  If we all recovered and never came back, the program would never have survived as long as it has.

   Benefits of meetings begin with continued humility before our Higher Power for what we have been given. We did not do this on our own; indeed, we could not have hoped to have been freed from the throes of alcohol alone and unaided by supernatural strength.  The benefits continue in our fellowship with others like us who are equally thankful and there for each other through triumph and tragedy.

   Downside is chiefly in the attitudes and uncertainties from our friends and family who do not or will not support us unconditionally in maintaining the aspects of recovery required from the human perspective (God provides the guidance - we provide the footwork).  This strains relationships with those who do not understand that we were saved from alcoholism and for that we are eternally grateful.  I want to give back until I die a natural death.

   If you have not seen the movies, "When a Man Loves a Woman," or "The Days of Wine and Roses," I would suggest these in order for you to get a feel for the power of alcohol and the power of God to release an alcoholic from a horrible death.

   I hope this may have helped and write again if I may be of any further help.