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Addiction to Alcohol/recovered alcohol and relationships
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Question
Ms. Glazer,
I had been in a relationship with a now 20 year recovered alcoholic. He also was previously, before I met him, addicted to porn. Also, he is really a work alcoholic.
Would you be able to tell me the difference in how this type of personality might handle a serious relationship after divorce differently than another?
We met after his divorce after an 18 year marriage. It has been 4 years now and while seemingly very much in love, he can't make a living together commitment, or even a "next year" commitment.
I have called it quits (e weeks so far), I don't know how he will handle this.
I wish he could change.
Hi Kristi,
)
It's really not possible to say how a recovering alcoholic with multiple cross addictions might handle a serious relationship after a divorce.
The issue here is that this man does not want commitment. Since you are looking for commitment, you have to move on -- and you have. Be aware, that this man may be co-dependent. If he is, he will not let you go easily. He may beg, plead, guilt you etc. Don't allow him to do this to you.
You have to stand firm in your beliefs, no matter what he says, because he can be manipulating you to keep you from leaving. If he says he will change, great! But until he does, don't go back or you'll be wasting your time
I hope this information is helpful,
Thank you for asking AllExperts
All the very best,
Bev
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com
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Answers by Expert:
Beverley Glazer
Expertise
I can answer questions on all addictive behaviors: alcohol, drugs, food, compulsive sex, codependency, gambling, compulsive shoplifting etc.
Experience
I have over 20 years experience working in the addiction field. My experience extends to all levels of substance abuse. I've worked in rehabs and detox centers, prisons and half-way houses and have a busy private practice as well as an active website where I can be reached for recovery coaching and consultation. I am a cognitive behavioral therapist, but 12-step programs are an excellent support. When working in the addiction field, there is no cookie-cutter solution. In the recovery field, you witness miracles. That's why I love what I do.
Organizations
NAADAC The Association for Addiction Professionals, CACCF Canadian Addiction Counselors Federation, CCA Canadian Counseling Association,
For more information please see: http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com
Education/Credentials
BA Psychology, MA Counseling Psychology, ICADC International Alcohol and Drug Counselor, ICAC International Clinical Addiction Counselor,
CGC Certified Gambling Counselor.
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