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I finally got the courage to get out of the way of my live in boyfriends addiction. I attend alanon faithfully work my steps and my life has gotten considerably better.. Except for one thing I can't let go of the hope he will find recovery..I do love him from a distance.. I am not willing to jump back in but I do miss my friend.. I wonder if he feels anything at all..I am way to néw to my own recovery to jump back in and jepordize my own little piece of serenity that I sometimes enjoy. I guess my question is this why does being collateral damage still hurt so much? And is it okay to feel compassion from a distance?
Compassion with detachment is the key to serenity. "Being collateral damage" sounds a little like you are being a victim here, which is truly the path to suffering. He cannot hurt you, only you can hurt you. So realize that you choose this man to learn a good lesson, which to love yourself no matter what. Sometimes alcoholics sober up, so it is okay to hope. It is not okay to blame yourself or feel like a victim. Good luck.
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| Rating(1-10) | Knowledgeability = 10 | Clarity of Response = 10 | Politeness = 10 |
| Comment | Thank you and you are right I guess I have a long way to go still on the victim thinking thing, I still have a beautiful house ( I am able to afford) beautiful dogs and a good life overall. I am thankful for these things daily. I will call my sponsor in the am and discuss these feelings with her. When I get stuck I remember to keep my head where my feet are and when I get emotional I write the disease letters and burn them . I pray that God opens his heart to recovery. He is drinking heavier since we split up but I know there is nothing I can do but hope God takes care of him. I miss him but not enough to go backwards in my own recovery, memories can be tricky things I want to hold on to the good ones and let go of the bad has I learn and grow. I am working hard and seeing a private therapist along with alanon. Sometimes I just get confused on compassion and minding my business lol . | ||
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Addiction to Alcohol
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james52144@earthlink.net
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I can answer any question about addiction, alcoholism, or recovery.
Experience
I am a recovering alcoholic and a member of AA since 1980. I have been the COB and member of the Board of two recovery/rehab facilities.
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AA
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North Carolina State Bar Journal and Georgia State Bar Journal
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