Expert: Druideck - 5/31/2011

Question
I am 28 and over 6’6” tall and weigh about 200lbs.  I did not start drinking until I was 21 and out of college.  I tried to do my "college drinking" from the age of 21-25, just without the loose college women and frat parties.  It never interfered with my work or relationships.  It was fun.  Then hangovers started getting bad and instead of just getting drunker, I’d end up slurring words or blacking out.  In the past 3 years I have cut back considerably from those days.  I hate hangovers more than anything in the world also, so when I get a hangover I’m very mad at myself.  I also have OCD and a pretty recurring symptom of OCD sufferers is a feeling of guilt during a hangover.  That usually is what causes the “do I drink too much” question to come up in my head, though I know they say a lot of times if you’re asking the question in the first place, you have a problem.  I’m not sure if I totally agree with that since the concern about drinking is sometimes an obsession to me.

Not that it matters for my situation, but I have a lot of friends that drink a lot more than me.  Several friends take Aderol with their alcohol so that they can continue to get drunk without blacking out/passing out.  This is amazingly terrible in my mind and I would never do it.  I want my body to know when to stop.  But nevertheless I have drinking friends that like to drink just as much as me sometimes and more, and usually it’s with them that I go overboard with drinking.  I guess by stating this, if my situation means I have a drinking problem, wouldn't it also mean they have problems too if they are getting just as drunk just as often as myself?

So how much do I drink?  Well during the week I may have 2-3 units of alcohol (beer, usually) after work to wind down.  Occasionally I will go out with friends during the week and might end up having 5-6, but that is rare as I do not go out much during the week.  No hangovers at work 95% of the time, alcohol does not interfere with my work life at all.  But otherwise during the week I abstain completely on some days also.  Usually Friday and Saturday nights I go out with friends.  We may drink from 8pm-1am and bar hop, or do dinner then a bar.  I enjoy Friday and Saturday night drinking a lot.  I usually do not get drunk, but due to my size I can easily have 8-10 units in a 5 hour period and just have a decent buzz.   I actually count drinks at bars when I’m out so as to not go over 10.  I also don’t count a mixed drink as 1 unit of alcohol—I count it as 1.5.  So if I have 6 mixed drinks, I call it 9 total drinks (since bartenders usually put more than a shot of alcohol in a mixed drink), and I stop drinking for that night, or maybe have a beer to make the calculation in my head 10 and know that’s my limit.  I feel 1.5 is liberal on the counting scale and it very well could be closer to 1 drink, so when I say I can drink 8-10 drinks, in reality some nights it could be more like 6-7.  This counting process is my way of being a responsible drinker.  Size is important here too, as my girlfriend can drink 3-4 drinks and is completely wasted.  I never get a hangover from these types of outings on the weekends, so I don’t feel this is bad at my age.  Is it unhealthy?  Yeah, they say more than 2-3 drinks is unhealthy, but in reality most people my age do not just drink 2-3 drinks while out on a Saturday night in a big city.

Then there are other times when I drink more excessively.  These are the problem items.  Generally it is a special occasion where a drinking buddy comes into town, or St. Patrick’s Day, or one night this year we threw our own house-warming party, or vacation, but it has in the past happened while I was at home watching sport's all day (has not happened in a very long time, that made me feel very bad about my drinking habits).  Drinking too much is not something I’m proud of, but I would say 5-6 times in 2011 so far I have reached that level of intoxication where I had slight blackouts and a hangover.  I’m not an idiot when I get there nor do I drive, but I don’t like getting there and losing that control.  Along with the OCD, I fear I might do something or did something that I cannot remember.  I think my girlfriend has matched me with being slightly blacked out in 2 of those incidents of mine, and the others were usually matched with friends nearby that were instigating the heavy binge drinking with me.  I know blackouts are REALLY bad, and I generally always shy away from getting anywhere near that level.  

I question if I drink too much only because in those 4-5 instances I mentioned above, I do drink too much.  My girlfriend has hated when I reached those levels.  I don’t really know why I do it or why I didn’t stop earlier, and that frustrates me even more and makes me think “well, it definitely will happen again…maybe in a month, maybe in three months, but it will happen.”  I just don’t want it to.

Does that mean I have an alcohol problem and should totally stop drinking, or does it just mean I need to take better actions to not drink that much when I go out and get in those situations that would otherwise beg me to drink more?  Sometimes because I didn’t drink at an earlier age like most I resent not having that experience and am trying to draw it out into an older age (where most people by now are over it).  And deep down I know my body doesn’t respond the same to alcohol at 28 as I did when I was 22, and over the last couple of years I have slowly backed away from those types of drinking situations.  But they still happen sometimes, and I just still don’t know if that concludes I am slowly being more responsible about drinking, or if I have a real problem and just don’t know it yet.

Answer
Jason,

Problem drinking is characterized by loss of control.
This means not being able to choose when you
drink and how much you drink.

It also means alcohol and it's resulting behaviours
are interfering in your life in a major way.
This can mean health problems, job problems or
problems with the law.

This might mean you start avoiding people or situations
that do not include drinking as part of the activity.

You may deny any problems even if there is ample
evidence apparent to others.

You may only have friends that drink and exclude others
if possible.

Blackouts and hangovers do become common in late
stage alcoholism.

Also rationalizing your drinking episodes
and using different methods to control
your drinking can be signs of a problem.

This might include changing the type of
drinks you have, using lower alcohol drinks,
mixing drinks in various ways and eventually
hiding your drinks as a means of controlling
your supply or avoiding detection by others
that are concerned about your drinking.

Feelings of guilt and anger and self-jusification
are common as is using other people's
drinking as a guideline to your own situation.

It is possible that many of the people you
drink with could have drinking problems.
Some may discover it and stop in time and
many more will eventually die without even
knowing they were ill.

Alcohol is a chemical drug and like any drug it
can be dangerous and it is quite addictive to
some people. Our society likes to advocate
these substances as a socially acceptable
way of altering our feelings.
It may be okay for some people in lesser quantities
but it is poison to the minds and bodies
of others.

If you use alcohol to avoid your feelings
or to relieve stress etc then
you are avoiding life.

We all need to learn how to handle our humanity,
this include growing as a person that
can deal with life's ups and downs without
escaping in drug use.

I know that drinking can give you a great
feeling of euphoria or comfort.
Over time problem drinking makes these
feeling less and less. Soon we just drink
to feel normal and then we become dependent
on that substance.

Alcohol can rule your life. It can become
mind obscessive and physically compulsive to
your body.

If you are often obscessed with either drinking
or not drinking then you are too involved
with alcohol already.

If alcohol is not a problem then you will
rarely think of it or be bothered if you
drink or do not drink.

Anytime something takes up a big part of
your thinking it is probably becoming an
obscession. Once it consumes your
mind it will start to consume your body.

If you find you are concerned often about your
drinking then that worry indicates you
may want to start considering that denial
is a large part of alcohol illness
and see a drinking counsellor to do some
assessments.

There are some tests online
for drinking problems that will show
you quickly about where you stand.

http://www.alcoholscreening.org/Home.aspx

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/problem/a/blquiz1.htm

If these tests show you in a danger zone
you will likely start to rationalize why they
don't apply to you if you really have a problem.
Remember, denial is a major component of
problem drinking and keeps some people
drinking until death. Try to be honest and aware.

Hopefully you can still control your alcohol
intake and behaviour but being concerned
and cautious as you are is always prudent.

Good luck,
Druideck.
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