Expert: Clyde - 6/22/2011

Question
I was married to an alcoholic and have now since separated living together because of the alcohol, however, I continue to see him to make sure he is okay as his drinking is very much worse and he doesn't have any one else and he is to say the least very suicidal (I think) if he is not lying about that.  I know that I should just walk away, however, if something happens to him, I think I would feel responsible. I think now that I have issues if I cannot just walk away.  Do I?  I understand you can't help someone who will not help themselves as I have given him every bit of information on help that is out there, but how do you just watch someone slowly sink further and further into alcohol.   Thank you for any help you can give me to go in the right direction.

Answer
Lois,
   Thank you for your question.  The simple, yet difficult, answer is, yes, you must walk away once you have exhausted the ways to help.  If the person is not ready for sobriety, nothing you do will make any difference.

   You must ask yourself "For why would I feel guilty if someone took their own life?"  The honest answer to that question will begin to point you in the right direction.  Although it would hurt if someone I loved committed suicide, there would be no reason for me to feel guilty.  They chose to self-destruct.  I would suggest that you think about this one and see if there is something deep within your psychological makeup that is the root of the dilemma for you.

   I will keep you both in my prayers.

Grace and Peace,
Clyde