Addiction to Alcohol/my husband relapsed

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Expert: - 7/28/2011


Question
Hi Beverly!  Thank you for your help in the past. My husband has been in outpatient treatment for the past 9 weeks. I thought he was doing well but I recently found out he has been drinking again. He has been going to AA and I have been going to al anon. I don't know if its helping. I feel helplessness and hopeless again. I don't trust him anymore.  It breaks my heart to see him this way and I'm tired of living like this. I told him I didn't know if we can make our marriage work. He can't understand why o feel this way. Will this ever get better?

Answer
Beverley Glazer MA., ICCAC
Beverley Glazer MA., I
Hi Mary,

It is really difficult when relapse occurs, but there's a saying in AA that 'relapse is part of recovery'. In other words, if a relapse happens, your husband has to pick himself up and learn from it. Only the person in recovery has the power to do this -- and this another frustration for you.

Another thing that's really hard is that you can't 'trust' an alcoholic/addict. He has to earn your trust. The longer he's sober the more you can trust his sobriety, however, only time can help you here. Your husband can't even trust himself yet. This is a one day at a time process for both of you.

Keep going to Al-anon get a sponsor and discuss your concerns. Living with someone in recovery is not easy, but the early stages of recovery are always the hardest.


I hope this information is helpful,
Thank you for asking AllExperts,

All the best to you,

Bev
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com

Beverley Glazer

Expertise

I can answer questions on all addictive behaviors: alcohol, drugs, food, compulsive sex, codependency, gambling, compulsive shoplifting etc.

Experience

I have over 20 years experience working in the addiction field. My experience extends to all levels of substance abuse. I've worked in rehabs and detox centers, prisons and half-way houses and have a busy private practice as well as an active website where I can be reached for recovery coaching and consultation. I am a cognitive behavioral therapist, but 12-step programs are an excellent support. When working in the addiction field, there is no cookie-cutter solution. In the recovery field, you witness miracles. That's why I love what I do.

Organizations
NAADAC The Association for Addiction Professionals, CACCF Canadian Addiction Counselors Federation, CCA Canadian Counseling Association, For more information please see: http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com

Education/Credentials
BA Psychology, MA Counseling Psychology, ICADC International Alcohol and Drug Counselor, ICAC International Clinical Addiction Counselor, CGC Certified Gambling Counselor.

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