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Addiction to Alcohol/Other half dependent on alcohol..

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Expert: - 8/26/2011


Question
Hi there,

I have been dating my partner for a short while, however. She has this urge (possibly a dependency) to get blackout drunk any time she drinks. Seriously, there is no off switch. When she does I get treated like I mean nothing. It doesn't happen all the time, it's not like we go out drinking every week. But when we do (or she goes out on her own with friends) it's a rage fest. We make a plan.. For example, go out for a few hours, then head home after being happily tipsy. Yet as soon as that first drink hits her, it's game over. All other thoughts except drinking till closing time go out the window. The worst part is how it makes her feel in the morning, I can forgive her for not treating me well while drunk.. That's what alcohol does to some people. But she hates the fact that she can't remember the night and regrets what she has done/said. Then I have to spend the day with her crying and telling me it won't happen again. Even though it always does. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I have tries talking to her about drinking less, or even stopping all together. Which she agrees with at the time, but then the cycle starts all over again. I wouldn't mind so much if she didn't get so upset about it, but what can I do.. It's up to her in the end. I just want her to be happy.

Answer
Beverley Glazer MA. ICADC
Beverley Glazer MA. IC
Hi Stuart,

As you've suspected, your partner may have a substance dependency problem and she's obviously concerned about it. Alcohol is a depressant and she feels terrible after she's been drinking the night before.

She probably can't moderate her drinking, because once she starts there's no stopping her. It would be helpful if she goes to AA meetings, however, if she chooses not to go, it would be best if she abstains completely. All this is up to her, but don't encourage her by asking her to go out for a drink. She should handle this as if she has an 'allergy' to alcohol, or she's on medication and can't drink because of it. Many people can't tolerate alcohol.

Here is a self-test that may be helpful. http://www.untwist-your-thinking/alcohol-addiction.html

I hope this information is helpful

Thank you for asking AllExperts

All the best

Bev
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com

Beverley Glazer

Expertise

I can answer questions on all addictive behaviors: alcohol, drugs, food, compulsive sex, codependency, gambling, compulsive shoplifting etc.

Experience

I have over 20 years experience working in the addiction field. My experience extends to all levels of substance abuse. I've worked in rehabs and detox centers, prisons and half-way houses and have a busy private practice as well as an active website where I can be reached for recovery coaching and consultation. I am a cognitive behavioral therapist, but 12-step programs are an excellent support. When working in the addiction field, there is no cookie-cutter solution. In the recovery field, you witness miracles. That's why I love what I do.

Organizations
NAADAC The Association for Addiction Professionals, CACCF Canadian Addiction Counselors Federation, CCA Canadian Counseling Association, For more information please see: http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com

Education/Credentials
BA Psychology, MA Counseling Psychology, ICADC International Alcohol and Drug Counselor, ICAC International Clinical Addiction Counselor, CGC Certified Gambling Counselor.

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