Expert: Beverley Glazer - 9/10/2011

Question
I know that this is something I have to answer for myself but I'd like your opinion.  My father was an alcoholic and I have three 1/2 siblings all with drinking problems. (two not drinking any more thankfully)

Other than when I was really young, I have always been really careful with my drinking (I'm almost 45).  I have rules set aside to try to keep myself in check:
1. never drink alone
2. don't drink when angry or sad
3. only drink with others to have fun
4. up until about 18 months ago, I had sworn off everything but wine to avoid going over my limit too easily

For the most part that has served me well. through the years I just drink socially and normally not to excess the last several years, except for the past year.  I went through a spell after moving into a neighborhood where people all around hang out on the driveway and drink every weekend. . . where I would find myself drinking to get drunk along with the rest of them.  Then I found myself smoking again after quitting for 12 years during a period of personal stress. Then I found myself, as a way of escaping, waiting for my DH to go to bed and having one or two drinks by myself.  This was not every day but it happened about 3 times and I've never been one that can hold a lot of alcohol so I was drinking to get a little buzz then smoking a cigarette, getting more of a little buzz, then laying down and going to sleep.

Earlier this year I was invited to a party which my husband was going to go to with me, but because my friends showed up so late, he decided not to go. It was just across the street.  Everyone there was doing shots an I had a couple of rum drinks and then 3 or 4 shots of rum with the group.  I got home and made myself get sick. I was supposed to sing the next day at church and I did sing but I was really hung over.  So, I decided that was it for doing shots with people and there are some people I don't spend nearly as much time with because they love to drink to get drunk and that's not fun for me.

However, there are still a lot of social events I get invited to where there is alcohol, and in fact we had a street party last weekend. I felt awkward not drinking and I'm on medication for social anxiety (antidepressant and just 1/2 of a klonopin a day).  I decided to have one cider drink just to relax with everyone.  I stopped at one, but everything I read says that if you have to have a drink to feel comfortable, then that means you are an alcoholic.  

Do you have feedback on this?  I want to be able to relax and enjoy a glass of wine once in awhile, but I don't want to endanger myself or my family.

Also, my 12 year old mentioned that when I was drinking more it worried her a little because I get sort of loud and laugh loud when I'm drinking.  My drinking has never caused trouble with work or my husband at all. . .or other activities other than that one time when I over-did it and had to go to church feeling awful to sing (I felt so guilty about that!)

I have had therapy through the years and my counselor tells me that I'm one of the most self aware people he's ever met. I probably over-analyze myself to the extreme. It's part of my anxiety disorder.  

I mentioned all this to a long time friend today and she thought it was all really funny. She said no way. . .I don't have a drinking problem. But, she enjoys drinking so maybe she's not the best to ask.  How do I resolve this in my mind?

I also worry that if I just decide I don't want to drink at all that I'd need to find a lot of new friends because sitting around with people that are having a beer when I'm not having a glass of wine isn't that thrilling to me. And, my husband enjoys hanging out and having a few as well. He has had a few times of getting drunk, but overall just has a few beers and his drinking has never been an issue for me either; however he's not willing to find all new friends because I'm being silly with worry about it.

Sorry for the rambling. What do you think?

Thanks in advance!!

Christine

Answer
Hi Christine,

Because you are a child of an alcoholic you and your siblings may have a genetic predispostion to alcoholism. This doesn't mean that you will be an alcoholic, however you must be aware of that fact.

In the past, you have been particularly consious of alcohol, however, this year you've been drinking for the 'buzz' as well as socializing with others who may be alcoholics. This can become dangerous. You should not drink with Klonopin -- even a small dose. Klonopin increases the effects of alcohol.

To evaluate if you have a problem, check this test:
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com/alcohol-addiction.html

You may not have a substance dependency right now, but be cautious. You're more than aware of the problems with addiction.

I hope this information is helpful,

Thank you for asking AllExperts

Regards

Bev
http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com