Expert: Beverley Glazer - 9/13/2011

Question
My husband recently quit drinking after an incident of Severe Alcohol Withdrawal.  Since the beginning (5 months ago) he has insisted he isn't bothered by events at which alcohol is served.  He does not want our adult children to avoid serving alcohol when he visits.  He feels it's his responsibility not to drink, and whether or not alcohol is served at an event does not matter.  My children and I are uncomfortable using alcohol with my husband.  We feel it's not necessary to serve alcohol at family events, and feel we are showing our support by not doing so.  He's very upset by this, and I'm not sure what we should be doing.

Answer
Hi Carol,

Your husband is right. He is the only one who is responsible for drinking, however, both you and your children are entitled not to serve alcohol when he is around. He has the problem, but everyone in the family has been affected by it.

Your husband doesn't want you not to have alcohol on his behalf, but his sobriety is new to everyone and five months is not that long.

Tell him not to be upset with your decision. When he has been sober for a year or so, you'll evaluate if your comfort level has changed. Family events don't have to include alcohol -- particularly when one member is new to sobriety.

If your husband goes to AA meetings, he should discuss this. He'll find that many members are in his situation and he should understand and not be upset with your decision.


I hope this information is helpful.

Thank you for asking AllExperts

All the best,

Bev

http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com