Addiction to Alcohol/My Mother
My mother has been an alcoholic since 2005, her drinking started getting worse in 2009. I lived with my mother for my whole life and eventually moved out on my own. Since I have moved out it has been hard to contact my mother. She always is drunk and has people over who drink with her and use her for money. Recently, I contacted my mother (Tuesday dec 4)just to see if she will pick up. My mother picked up and was crying and was begging to see me.
I picked her up and drove her to my place. She has complanied to me that she has a head ache and because of her heavy drinking she gets high blood pressure (last time 250/80). She was throwing up all night and only drinking tea. The following day at 10 am (wed dec 7), I heard a fall and she was having a seizure due to withdrawal (this is not the first time, she has been having these since 2010. They have become more common (her prev one was 3 days prior to coming to my place) ).
She was admitted to the hospital and given various tests, she was discharged today in my care and she has developed brain damage due to drinking, as well as hepatitis.
My question to you is, my mother is in a very sick condition and she is still in denial. When I asked her if she will get help she just said "I am going to stop drinking". But I know that is not the case. I do not wanna let her go back to Toronto because those drinking buddies will be waiting for her.
I am very concerned with my mothers well being, her overall rational decisions, the way she lives (she is also a hoarder), her hygiene, and personal care.
Please, I have tried speaking to counselors, social workers, doctors, detox programs and asking my family doctor if she can be "formed". I need some answers and some help. My mother is all I have and I cannot loose her to this.
I am not sure what all the counselling people you talked to said to you
but I will give you my true experience of this problem.
Alcoholism blinds people to the severity of their problem.
This is what is called denial. It keeps people sick sometimes
until they die and they never even know what is wrong with themselves.
Often the wake up call only comes after very severe pressure from
either life's circumstances or close family members.
The family and friends can arrange an intervention
with the help of a counsellor. This has to be done right
and is used to get the person into a treatment program.
The alternative to pressure is letting go and letting life take it's course.
This may be what will happen eventually anyway even after intervention.
Nobody likes to watch their mother descend into illness and
it is always best to try what you can. You may feel that it is unkind
to demand that she gets help but she cannot make rational
choices due to her illness.
This illness affects a person in a multitude of ways.
It cause mental, physical, emotional and spiritual
Recovery demands attention to all thses areas of being.
The best success for recovery involves the peer programs
of Alcoholics Anonymous. These are free and ongoing
so the person has somewhere to go when feeling
strong cravings or emotional upheaval.
Many people recover eventually if they keep going
to AA meetings for at least a few months.
It doesn't matter if she doesn't like AA meetings
as long as she goes to them.
After a few months the alcoholic fog clears and it is easier
to see the problem and begin recovery.
My suggestion would be to take her to open AA meetings
regularly for now and do not take no as an answer as
this is a life or death situation for her.
Maybe she will eventually want to go to regular meetings
in the future.
You can talk to a counsellor about intervention and treatment.
There is no easy path to recovery for her.
You must not fall into the error of trying to be too nice as this
may be death for her.
As always life will be the final judge of this situation and there
may be only so much you can do.
Br ready to accept reality after doing as much as possible first.
I know the choices are not easy and don't be afraid to get help
for yourself too.
This is an addictive illness and her will power can only do so much.
She needs recovery meetings to learn new ways of coping.