Addiction to Alcohol/Marriage nearing divorce due to alcohol
My husband and I have been married for 8 years, together for 9. We share 4 children together as well as I have a daughter from a previous relationship.
My husband has been an alcohol and addict (drugs) since before I met him, however I was very naive to the fact and didn't really realize there was in fact an issue. Long story short, after multiple arguments and him attempting to stop dring on his own as he says AA does not work for him, he has begun to sneak alcohol in the home, drinking and denying and threatening divorce. He confessed this evening he doesnt think he wants to stop and he doesnt think he can. My concern is mostly that he lies to me about it and sneaks it. He has broken all my trust and i feel completely disrespected. I love him but our marriage has been rocky for a few years now. I do not want a divorce, however he claims he does, he wants me to leave him be and he will drink whenever he wants. My concern mostly is I work a few evenings a week and he is with the kids. He is on 2 different anti depressants which he is not supposed to consume alcohol while on and i am very worried incase something happens to him while he is caring for our children. We have literally no family and not very many friends that can help so I am forced to leave my job so I can be here for my children. I dont want a divorce, it seems he does, I don't know what to do or where to turn. I personally cannot afford a counselor but I know we so desperately need it and as my children will as well should we split. Any advice? Much appreciated.
You're in a particularly difficult situation, because nobody, only the alcoholic/addict can do anything about their behavior. From your letter, it seems that he has absolutely no intention of giving up drinking. In other words, he has chosen alcohol over his family.
This gives you 2 alternatives: either you stay with him as he is, or you leave. If you choose to stay, however, you must also consider the effect that this will have on these young children. Separating is not an easy decision, but you have to make one. You can be helped by Codependent Anonymous and Al-Anon meetings in your area.
These meetings are free and you'll learn not only how to deal with this, but you'll receive emotional support at this very difficult time. I suggest that you go.
I hope this information is helpful,
Thank you for asking AllExperts
All the best in this very difficult time.
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