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Addiction to Alcohol/verbal altercations while very drunk

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Question
So the saying,'true feelings come out when your drunk', is it true? I feel like if a very drunk person is blacking out, it can't be true. What's said can sometimes be how the drunk feels about themselves vs. the loved one he or she is cutting down. What's your opinion?

Answer
Hi, Tammy!

You have asked:

>> So the saying, 'true feelings come out when your drunk', is it true?

It certainly can be, but not always or for everyone since many factors can be involved.  Sober or drunk, some people are more inclined to act upon intellect rather than upon emotion, yet intoxication can release or compromise certain intellectual inhibitions (matters of personal character, conviction or practice) just as surely as it can confuse one's emotions even while actually rendering the intellect incompetent.  So, what we have there is akin to possibly an otherwise-safe driver being unable to discern and to navigate a given situation well or properly and ending up in the ditch to the surprise of everyone, including himself or herself, and without anyone present believing the drunk driver was the true person.

>> I feel like if a very drunk person is blacking out, it can't be true.

"Blacking out", as such, would not actually be a factor there unless extreme intoxication was being used to excuse the actions.  Overall, the inability to later remember -- alcohol-induced amnesia -- would simply be yet another bit of evidence indication extreme intoxication.

>> "What's said can sometimes be how the drunk feels about themselves vs. the loved one he or she is cutting down.

That certainly can be true.

>> What's your opinion?

In my actual experience, some of my own past actions while intoxicated came from "the true me" and others did not...and neither I nor anyone else could ever truly sort those things out with any degree of accuracy until both the intellect and the emotion were free of intoxication and subjected to the Twelve Steps so they could be brought under control.

I hope that helps, and please know you are always welcomed to write!

Joseph Lee

Addiction to Alcohol

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Joseph Lee O.

Expertise

Greetings to you! I have experienced “Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book, and that is what I share with others. I understand the physical, mental and emotional aspects of the real alcoholic's plight, and here is what can be done to overcome chronic alcoholism: "If you are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may already be asking - 'What do I have to do?' It is the purpose of this book ('Alcoholics Anonymous') to answer such questions specifically. We shall tell you what we have done." (page 20)

Experience

I took my first drink of alcohol at age 24...and within minutes I had become obsessed with its seemingly-magical effect. That glass of wine had just done something *for* me, and I was amazed. Just seven years later, I wanted to never again touch another drop of alcohol -- I had a desire to stop drinking forever -- but I just could *not* leave the stuff alone. I knew what alcohol was doing *to* me, but I still needed something done *for* me. The effect of the Twelve Steps is now my “sufficient substitute” ("A.A.", page 151) for the effect of alcohol, and I do not have to puke anything back up in the morning!

Publications
http://e-aa.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=31&t=9572

Education/Credentials
30-year student of “Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book

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