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Addiction to Alcohol/Fiancee blames me for drink

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Question
Hi

I am due to get married to my fiancee this year and we are having an issue with her drinking.  She does not always drink but when she does she cannot stop.  In the morning she blames me for it saying that I am responsible for allowing her to drink.  I have stopped her on a couple of times but often find that she gets angry and argumentative.  the next day she is thankful.  This is getting quite exhausting because I am held responsible it feels like I am minding a child.  Am I to blame for getting her drunk?  I admit I like to drink as well but it doesn't stop me doing things the next day and beer does not give me hangovers.  In the morning she says that I am not supportive and that she cannot trust or rely on me.  Is this fair?  

Thanks

Answer
Beverley Glazer MA., ICCAC
Beverley Glazer MA., I  
Hi Chris,

When someone doesn't always drink, but 'when they do they cannot stop' they are binge drinkers. It sound like that's where you see a problem with your fiancee's behavior. Here is more information on that: http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com/binge-drinker.html

You are not to blame for 'getting her drunk' nor is it your responsibility to stop her from drinking. She is the only person who can control her behavior. What she does is not your fault.

I hope this information is helpful.

Thank you for asking AllExpert,

Regards,

Bev

http://www.untwistyourthinking.com
Http://www.facebook.com/untwistyourthinking
http://www.twitter.com/BeverleyGlazer  

Addiction to Alcohol

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Beverley Glazer

Expertise

I can answer questions on all addictive behaviors: alcohol, drugs, food, compulsive sex, codependency, gambling, compulsive shoplifting etc.

Experience

I have over 20 years experience working in the addiction field. My experience extends to all levels of substance abuse. I've worked in rehabs and detox centers, prisons and half-way houses and have a busy private practice as well as an active website where I can be reached for recovery coaching and consultation. I am a cognitive behavioral therapist, but 12-step programs are an excellent support. When working in the addiction field, there is no cookie-cutter solution. In the recovery field, you witness miracles. That's why I love what I do.

Organizations
NAADAC The Association for Addiction Professionals, CACCF Canadian Addiction Counselors Federation, CCA Canadian Counseling Association, For more information please see: http://www.untwist-your-thinking.com

Education/Credentials
BA Psychology, MA Counseling Psychology, ICADC International Alcohol and Drug Counselor, ICAC International Clinical Addiction Counselor, CGC Certified Gambling Counselor.

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