Addiction to Alcohol/Help
Hi! This question is reguarding my boyfriend of 4 years. I'm very concerned and I'm not quite sure what I'm dealing with anymore.
I met my boyfriend 4 years ago. I worked at a bar, he came in with a group of mutual friends and we instantly hit it off. When I met him, I was going through my young party stage. The 1st year of our relationship was spent in a party atmosphere and involved drinking. We wernt necessarily a "couple" but we were... All our friends and my family (his family was from the other side of US) recognized us as a couple, I had brought it up a few times but he said rushing things was bad luck. Anyway, things started going south when the drinking got out of control. I woke up one day with a black eye and I was Clueless as to what had happened?! A friend of mine later pulled me to the side and said my boyfriend had done it?! I didn't believe it, and he denied it.
Time went on and a similar situation occurred. My solution was that I needed to quit drinking. So I did. That's when his anger while he was drinking became Very obvious. (There hasnt been any violence towards between us in 2 years or since i stopped drinking) We talked about it and his drinking slowed quite a bit but the amount did not.
He soon got his first DUI and totaled his car, a month later he was involved in a wreck coming home from a bar and broke his neck. I was his caretaker during his recovery. He blamed the world for his dui and injury... Never himself, I've never met such a sweet person with such an angry side (sober or not)
After his injury he lost his job and got another dui. His family has been financially supporting him. I know it sounds crazy for me to still be with him but I see him hurting and it kills me. He only drinks maybe once every 2 weeks but this anger always comes out. And his parents have offered to pay for him to return to school, training, theyll do anything and he seems excited when hes on the phone with them but quickly loses interest. I don't know if this is from the drinking or not? The only thing i see him get excited about is going to a bar, even though it has ruined his life, he doesn't have to drink all the time, and even sober he is 2 different people sometimes. I know I can't "save" him but I feel like I'm abandoning by best friend in his time of need. I'm all he has, emotionally. Any help would be great! Thanks!
You are not abandoning your best friend but you are ENABLING him. He s obviously an alcoholic and unless he treats this here is nothing you can do about it.
By now you should have had plenty of warnings about what your marriage and having children with him is going to be like. If he wants to treat himself he needs to study the causes of alcoholism and how to treat it. Please read:
Why Alcoholics Drink
Alcoholism is a Treatable Disease
Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist.
Emeritus Editor of
The Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia.
Author of "Getting off the Hook"
Freely available at Google Book Search
Also at Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/183150461841144/