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When your drunk does your true feelings come out??
My ex and i went out for 5 months and he broke up with me and then we argue and yell but then the next day he'll kiss me and make up and friends aren't suppose to kiss yeah hug but not that my friends keep telling me that he's confused and doesn't know what he wants right now. He's 2 years younger then me. Then last Saturday got a little drunk and he asked me out again and had a little too much fun then didn't call me the next day. He went off to Michigan cheated on me with suppose she's 21 so a 4 year difference. Then he's home now and we talked and doesn't want to get back together, he doesn't like me at all, hows not feelings for me what so ever. Then later he kissed me. I don't know what going on with him, he's giving me too many mixed massages i don't know if he likes me or not. But I kind of liked him when he was drunk he was nicer to me but I miss him. What do you think??
Greetings to you, Theresa.
You have asked:
>> When your drunk does your true feelings come out??
Alcohol can release inhibitions that normally hold people back from saying or doing certain things, and it can also disable good judgment. So yes, some things do sometimes “come out” when someone is drunk, but that does not mean everything said or done is what is “really inside”. Heavy drinkers are often “internally confused” whether drunk or sober, and one must be cautious about taking them literally.
You have written:
>> we argue and yell but then the next day he'll kiss me ...
>> What do you think??
I believe you should go to some Al-Anon meetings and ask someone to help you know how to best deal with him. You should able to find Al-Anon in just about any phone book, and there is no charge for meetings or what they do there.
My best to you,
Joseph Lee O.
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Answers by Expert:
Joseph Lee O.
Expertise
Greetings to you! Amidst the insufficiency of all the philosophical, religious and “self-help” approaches to relief from chronic alcoholism, I have personally experienced the content of “Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book. Thus, I can now explain at least the essence of the physical, mental and emotional aspects of an alcoholic's inherent condition and plight, and I can show why a spiritual solution is required and how it works and how to attain one.
Experience
The oldest of four boys, I grew up in a religious, Midwestern-USA family. Unable to decline a friendly offer in a social setting, I had "no effective mental defense against the first drink" ("Alcoholics Anonymous", the book, page 43), and took my very first drink ever at age 24 ... and within minutes I had become obsessed with getting more of the effect that glass of homemade wine had given me. Alcohol had just done something *for* me that nothing else had ever done; it had seemingly "fixed" something inside me I had not even known was broken.
Over the next seven years of my life, I "drank up" just about everything and everyone ever meaning much to me at all, and I eventually abandoned my young family so I could drink and smoke pot at will. For, you see, alcohol was giving me a good-to-go feeling about life and a sense of control I had never before had, and at least in the early days of my drinking it could kill just about any pain that came along.
At age 31, however, circumstances and consequences had piled up all around me in ways that were making it obvious I could not continue on much longer. Life had become too tough, my pains had grown too great and the dangers of continuing to drink had become too undeniable for me to be able to continue believing I might ultimately survive an inescapable drop to the bottom of the pit. I still wanted to be able to drink safely as in days past, but something had seemingly "taken over" my drinking and was dragging me completely out-of-control after just one drink. So, and even while completely overwhelmed by the thought of facing life alcohol-free, I decided to stop drinking altogether ... and I quickly discovered I could not. No matter what I said, thought or did even just "one day at a time", I always ended up drinking once again. Where I wanted to drink safely, I could not, and neither could I remain abstinent for very long at all ... and such is the physical "allergy" (where one drink takes another) coupled with alcoholism’s mental-emotional obsession for the effect of alcohol ...
... but then I met a small group of people who personally understood my deadly dilemma - my complete personal powerlessness - and those same folks were quite able to propose a permanent solution. I accepted, of course, and today it is as if I "could not drink even if [I] would" ("Alcoholics Anonymous", the book, page 57), and for that I now remain unendingly grateful.
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