Expert: Rebos - 9/13/2007

Question
How can I help my alcoholic sister(she also acts mentally ill but this could be from alcohol abuse)her husband does not seem to be strong enough. Each time he had to get help(she was out of her mind and combative)she talked the Dr's out of it and told lies about her husband. I am afraid she is going to die tragically because of her lifestyle. We come from a family of alcoholics. Our brother fell into heavy trafic and was killed immediatelly. She lies alot and gets away with terrible things. Her kids seem confused but she always keeps their emotions on a string.I am at a point where I cannot even visit her or allow her in my home.She is embarrassing if she drinks.She has NEVER owned up to all her missed engagements.Late to graduations, funerals etc....I know she will not make it much longer and her mental state is so far out there. People in stores have asked her if she was OK just by the way she acts. I am also afraid that she will be left alone by her family because they are all so stressed out.Her children are odd and have few friends. She also acts like their friend and can't stay out of their business.Is the law on my side or her husbands or does she have to hurt herself or someone else before she can be taken away-literally to get long term help? Her husband says there is nothing he can really do and the kids don't "tell on her"I guess they are afraid. all their neighbors in all hte homes they have lived think she is crazy. Not one neighbor in 19 years has thought otherwise. Could she have a wet brain and be mentally ill all at the same time? I am soooo worried - I don't want to lose another sibling. She lives in PA and her husband is always making excuses that the law there is not on his side. I think he is becoming immune and full of BS. Please respond to me - I am at my wits end and so worried.
Thankyou in advance
Jeannie

Answer
Good morning Jeannie and thank you for your question.

Alcoholism is a disease. Drinking alcoholically is but a symptom of a deeper underlying problem that your sister will eventually have to face up to in order to stop drinking for the long haul. You may not be able to do anything about your sister’s drinking, but you can do something about the problem that has already developed in your life, by having an alcoholic in it. Until you are armed with the right kind of information as to what you can do about straightening out your own life you are destined to be continually be drawn into her life’s problems. Alcoholism is deadly and it destroys everything and everyone who comes into contact with it. In any case I would suggest that you attend Alanon meetings to find how you can help yourself. Her husband may want to attend also, and her children can attend Alateen meetings. You may want to suggest that route to your brother-in-law.If you do not have your local Alanon number call toll-free: 1-800-344-2666 (United States) or 1-800-443-4525 (Canada).

Since I am not a lawyer I am sorry that I can’t answer any legal problems. I am sure that you can find an answer to your question by asking at your local police station or your local Mental Health Department if you can’t afford to ask a lawyer.

Thank you, Rebos