Expert: Amarnath.B - 2/9/2005

Question
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Followup To
Question -
Here is my problem.Whenever I drink,I go on Yahoo Chat.This energises me,and makes me want to drink more.I have been known to stay awake for two days drinking and chatting.Since I am not working during the winter months,I can afford to do this.
My kids also chat on Yahoo but are very responsible.Getting rid of the computer is not an option.I even tried giving a password that I didnt know to my wife,but I woke her up and begged her to give it to me.I can drink responsibly and chat responsibly,but together they are dynamite.Help!
Answer -
Dear Barry,

Who do you chat with and what is the subject matter of your chat?

Regards,

Amarnath

Amaranth
I just feel the need to talk.I usually go to a 40's room.Then later when these rooms empty,I go to rooms like Australia as these people are up.
Honestly,before we got the computer,I never had this problem.Also,I never chat unless I have been drinking.I know the easy answer is to say quit drinking,but to me the problem is chat.Maybe I should see a shrink.

Answer
Dear Barry,

Let's address your problem one at a time.  Let us taking the drinking first.  

Loss of control of drinking is addiction and addiction is a disease.  For that matter, any addiction is a disease.  Now addiction to one manifests into getting addicted to other forms.  For example, addiction to alcohol may manifest into addiction to gambling, sex, drugs, or almost anything.  One addiction needs the other to nurse and this goes on and on.  Stop drinking. By stopping, I do not mean reducing but stay stop, period.  You can do this by becoming more spiritual and attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings regularly.  There must be one in your area.  Please note, stopping has nothing to do with will power but "will not power" (I will not touch that first drink).

No lets come to your problem of chatting.  You only chat if you drink.  I am sure it is not the other way round.  You did mention that before the computers came into existence you drank sensibly.  But in fact, it is the drink that has slowly but surely gotten control over you over the years.  Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it progresses every minute of your life even after you have stayed stop!  You are one of the unfortunates who has come to a point where drinking has become a problem than a social lubricant.

You need to really sit and introspect this problem Barry.  Go to AA, pick up the Big Book which they have and you will see where your problem lies.

I wish you all the best. Do not hesitate to contact me if you have any other further queries.

God bless you and your family,

Amarnath.