Expert: Rebos - 6/27/2007

Question
My brother recently died from complications of his alcoholism and my mother keeps blaming herself.  I have tried to explain that it is a disease and used some quotes from your previous responses, but none seem to help.  Could you recommend a book or 2 that may be helpful for her to read? We all had tried to talk him out of drinking and even had an intervention that he walked out of.  It would be good to have a good explanation of how the disease effects the mind and hooks the person.

Answer
Good morning Gary and thank you for your question.

I am sorry to hear of your brother’s death from alcoholism… my condolences to you and your family. Alcoholism is truly “the great remover”. It’s unfortunate that your mother is blaming herself for what your brother’s addiction has caused. Maybe it is her way of her mourning for her son. After all it is her son and parents are supposed to care and protect their children under all circumstances. I doubt that books will help her… she may want to go to some Al-Anon meetings and meet with people who have been where she is now. If you live close by to her you may offer to go with her… it could help you also. For meeting locations, you can call your local Al-Anon chapter by checking your local phone book under "Alcoholism" or calling the following toll-free numbers: 1-800-344-2666 (United States) or 1-800-443-4525 (Canada).

The best place that I know of to find out about addiction that may help your mother, other than a book, is at www.alcoholanddrugabuse.com where you can download lots of information for her to read.

Once again I am sorry for your family’s loss. Thank you Rebos