Expert: Rebos - 2/21/2007

Question
My girlfriend whom I've been with for over 1 1/2 years drinks too much and it has caused problems since after the first month.  I knew when i met her she had some problems.  To keep this short, I will spare you all the details of her life that has brought her to this destructive lifestyle.  I will just say she had her children taken a few years ago (before 1 1/2 before I met her, and as I understand it was unrelated to drinking) she is 24 now.  she said that ever since then she has turned to drinking.  The last boyfriend that she had must have been abusive.  It only lasted a couple of months, but at the end she was kicked out of his moving vehicle and sent by her sister to rehab.  She was only there for one night before she left, and was taken to my house where i met her for the first time.  The first time we had problems with her drinking was after about 1 month.  She ended up in a bar near her work (she had only been employed for about 1 week, she has problems holding a job...but thats another topic in its self, but im sure its related) after the bar, she was so drunk she had to have one of her coworkers take her to their house, because they didnt know where she lived, and finally made it home the next morning.  Also what makes this so hard, is that she has been living with me from day one (she had no where else to go except her moms house, but the living conditions there were unacceptable). I could go on and on, i should probably go speak to someone about this face to face.  But here is my question.  Is it ok to let her drink a couple times a week, when they other couple of day she is sober?  I know your going to tell me no, and that i should leave her, so she can hit rock bottom or die, but i love her too much for that.  Please give me some advice, or at least someone i could talk to in St Louis that could help.

Answer
Good afternoon Josh:

Thank you for your kind words and ratings. All is not lost if you have decided to stay with your girlfriend, however, I suggest emphatically that you start to attend Al-Anon meetings and continue to go regularly. You will be helping yourself and in turn will possibly help your girlfriend. It is the only way for you to sanely survive your relationship with her! Please, please, please go. Thanks again Rebos