Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 7/27/2007

Question
My husband has 6 months clean from cocaine. About 5 months ago he started distancing himself from me. Whenever I would approach him he would say I wasn't a priority and he wasn't able to talk to me about anything involving our marriage. A month later I tried to talk to him again and he said "I only married you 10 years because you were pregnant and I want a divorce". Since then he has called me cancer, told me I should have kicked him out a long time ago so he would have more clean time. When I asked him about the not making a major decision in the first year he said "it's not written in black and white". Is any of this normal behavior in early recovery or his this just his selfishness. He moved out three weeks ago and now isn't even talking to me unless to see our daughter.

Answer
Dear Jenna

He is obviously blaming you for his addiction. That isn't unusual, considering the toxicity of cocaine. His mind won't be sane for quite some time. I wouln't call it normal, it is quite unhealthy. He needs counseling. My guess is he is heading for a relapse.