Expert: Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist - 1/11/2007

Question
JURRIAAN,

HELLO! I AM WRITING TO YOU TO ASK YOU A QUESTION REGARDING MY FIANCE.  WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR OVER 11 YEARS AND
ABOUT 4 OR 5 MONTHS AGO HE STARTED GOING TO A LOCAL STRIP BAR WITH A FRIEND FROM WORK THAT WE BOTH KNOW.  I HAVE BEEN SUSPICIOUS OF HIM AFTER A FEW MONTHS.  HE SAYS HE PLAYS POOL AND OTHER GAMES THAT ARE IN THE BAR.  HE DOES NOT DRINK-ALCOHOL AND I HAVE NEVER SMELT ALCOHOL ON HIM WHEN HE COMES HOME.  YESTERDAY, WHILE I WAS DOING LAUNDRY I FOUND A LIGHTER (HE QUIT SMOKING 3 YEARS AGO) AND TWO MATCH STICKS IN HIS POCKET THAT HE DID NOT TAKE OUT OF HIS POCKETS BEFORE PUTTING THEM IN THE CLOTHES HAMPER.  THE MATCHES THAT I FOUND WHERE THE PAPER TYPE AND THE HEAD OF THE MATCH WAS NOT LIGHT.  THE MATCH HAS BEEN CUT OF AT ABOUT A HALF INCH OR SO BELOW THE MATCH HEAD.  I QUESTIONED HIM ABOUT THESE ITEM THAT I FOUND AND HE WENT INTO THIS TOTAL DENIAL SPEECH.  I HAVE A FUNNY FEELING THAT THESE ITEMS WERE SOME HOW CONNECTED TO SOME TYPE OF DRUG USE AND I HAVE NO CLUE OF EXACTLY WHAT.  I AM WONDERING IF YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO SHED SOME LIGHT ON HOW THESE ARE USED AND WHAT IS HE REALLY DOING.  THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR TIME.  

Answer
Hello Dana,

Writing in capital letters makes it a bit hard to read.
Well, it seems to me that your boyfriend has lost your trust, and I am sorry that I cannot help you.

You have to keep on asking questions and when the matter cannot be resolved, you may have to consider leaving your boyfriend, although this is not easy.

A relationship should be based on trust and when that goes it would be difficult to maintain it.

I am sorry I cannot be of more help.
_________________________________
Jurriaan Plesman, BA(Psych), Post Grad Dip Clin Nutr
Editor: HYPOGLYCEMIC HEALTH ASSOCIATION OF AUSTRALIA at
www.hypoglycemia.asn.au
Author: “Getting off the Hook” at
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