Expert: Rebos - 9/29/2006

Question
Hello,
I have already read many of the answers to the questions posted here and they are a wealth of information. I have been dealing with my alcholic wife all wrong (I have been way too emotional). I will be attending my first al-anon meeting tonight.

My wife has many underlying issues that she refuses to deal with (her mother died recently) so she drinks instead. Her binge drinking starts on Fridays and ends (if we are lucky) on Tuesday and then starts all over again on Friday. Instead of seeking profesional help, she basically has decided to drink and blame all of her problems on me.

There is one thing, however, that I am curious about. She has said some unbeleivably vile things to me when she is drunk. My question is, does alcohol work like truth serum, allowing the persons true feelings to come spilling out?

In other words, does she actually mean the vile things she is saying?

THANK YOU!

Answer
Good afternoon CGT:

Thank you for your question. First off; I am pleased to hear that you are going to go to Al-Anon meetings, and secondly; drinking alcoholically, (which is what your wife is doing) is just an excuse that she is using to justify her drinking. She undoubtedly believes that you will accept her out of control drinking as part of her grieving process.

However, without out knowing the overall personality of your wife I would venture to say; there is such a thing (when it comes to drunks) called a Dr. Jeckel and Mr. Hyde syndrome. I am talking about a CHANGE IN PERSONALITY when your wife drinks too much for her system to handle, (In some people it may set in with only one drink, or in others…more). A change in personality does not necessarily mean that the person will tell the truth when they are drunk, but they become less inhibited to say and do stupid things. If a drink or two… would cause a person to tell the truth then the courts system would give all witnesses and defendants alcohol to the point where they would certainly always tell the truth.

I hope that this response answers your question, but in any case you will get all the answers that you need to help YOU with your situation at Al-Anon. If I can do anything further for you please don’t hesitate to contact me again. Thank you, Rebos