Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 5/10/2007

Question
Hi - Thankyou for taking my question. I am an alcoholic who is attending AA. I dont have a long history of drinking, but in the last year or less I have drank about once every 3 weeks - during the last 6 months of that time I certainly drank like a true alcoholic and got into the usual trouble that alcoholics get into: fights, driving drunk,casual sex. I havent "Lost" anything: friends, job or ever gotten arrested, but I realize that if If I ever drink again it is certainly a possiblity and is almost garunteed if I continue to drink since the disease is progressive. My PROBLEM is this. Since starting AA three months ago, I havent had the urge to drink at all - but the group members INSIST that you have to go to a meeting a day or you will most definately start drinking again. I have cut my meetings down to three times a week, and am getting a lot of pressure to go everyday (even being ostracized by some members). The other problem is that since drinking was never a daily thing or a big part of my life and only lasted a year or less - I was never really obsessed or compelled to do it. But when I attend more than 3 meetings a week - I hear so much talk about it that it makes me want to drink - it actually gives me the urge to drink. Going to AA every day makes the whole idea of drinking a daily think for me and it makes me feel like it is a constant battle I have to fight when It never felt that way before. Dont get me wrong - I AM A TRUE alcoholic - I can tell by the way that I drink when I do drink. But Making AA my Life is just too much stress for me and lately is causing more stress and more of a desire to drink than it is helping me. What is your opinion - the AA NAZI'S (as they are called) tell me I am looking for excuses not to go and will inevitably start drinking - but I had a happy life before and drinking was infrequent enough not to cause much of a problem - now I dont see my kids as much, cut out of work early to go to meetings and dont see my friends (who are NOT drinkers - I was a solitary drinker) anymore. AA has taken over my life and I was happy before AA and just want to make AA a PART of my life - NOT MY WHOLE LIFE. I need advice. Thank you.

Answer
Hi Pete

AA is not the only path to recovery and a lot of those AA Nazis are really dry drunks in disguise. If your serenity is jeopardized by going to meetings, then go when you want to. One of the first lessons in recovery is that what everybody else thinks of you is none of your business. You do the right thing for yourself. If it means anything, I don't go to meetings for exactly the same reason.