Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 10/11/2006

Question
I am married to a man that drinks at least 4 times a week.  He leaves work early around 3pm and quits drinking when the bar closes.  he will run out of money to pay bills and asks me to transfer money to his account.  I work one full time job and one part time job.  I pay my bills and more.  He feels sorry so he says and won't do it again, but at least 2 days he does it again.  We have been married for almost 4 years and he has been doing this consistently for 1 year.  He turns his phone off and has his brother text me awful things saying that I am an awful person and that I don't love myself and for me to leave him alone.  He has had epsisodes where he has gone out for 4-5 days in a row and not come home or call at night.  What should I do?  Please help!!

Answer
Dear Gabrielle

These are the classic signs of alcoholism. I suggest that you talk to a lawyer about locking him out of the house when he disappears and getting a divorce. The drinking will only get worse. You also need to attend meetings of Alanon, a support group for victims of alcoholics.