Expert: Jan Edward Williams - 12/19/2007

Question
My partner binge drinks occasionally and gets absolutely drunk thens gets very aggressive where he either ends up fighting if out or more recently he attacked me when I told him to leave the house. He has no stop button. A the moment he is hanging his head in shame and is very apologetic. He has vowed to give up drinking totally. Is he an alcoholic?

Answer
Hello Deborah,
You don't really give enough information for me to diagnose your partner an alcoholic, but I'll comment on the facts you present. You say he drinks occasionally: it's often not the frequency of drinking, but what happens when drinking. I'll list the indicators that might suggest he is an alcoholic, but bear in mind that there must be a pattern of these indicators for them to count in the diagnosis---use in the face of a pattern of negative consequences indicates a serious problem. Here are your partner's indicators of an alcohol problem: getting absolutely drunk when he drinks (not social drinking); aggression, negative personality change, and behavior against his value system (I doubt, when sober he wants to fight you or anyone; attacking you is abuse and surely against his values); and tension in a significant relationship. The question is whether these indicators have happened enough to constitute a pattern, and whether he can live up to his vow to give up drinking.