Expert: Rebos - 8/2/2007

Question
My exhusband is an alcoholic.  My problem is that I was stupid enough to believe he had changed.  I moved 2500 miles away from my support system of friends and family with my children to be with him again.  Of course he started drinking again.  I am currently a student in a nursing program and WILL NOT give up on my education again.  My oldest child summed it up best when she said, "He will just be the same as he was again." I have been squirreling away $ to get out, checking on low income apt. and food stamps etc.  Id rather be poor and on welfare,I do work full time, just dont make much, than be with him any longer.  I dont have a question Im just posting this in hope of some support, and hopeully to save anyone else from making my same mistake.  Alcoholics rarely change!!

Answer
Good afternoon Amber and thank you for your non-question message.

Alcoholics in general always change! Those who do not get the right kind of help for the right reasons will ALWAYS GET WORSE! Those alcoholics who go into a recovery program like Alcoholics Anonymous and work their program as though their life depended on it will ALWAYS CHANGE FOR THE BETTER. So change they do… unfortunately your ex-husband may be one of those who cannot get honest about his situation as to what booze is doing to him and where he is destined to end up. But you can’t scare a drunk into stopping drinking. He’s got to throw in the towel for himself and want to get better. I can only imagine what you and your children have been going through, and I am sorry.

Try your best to protect yourself and the children, and if necessary get a restraining order against him or go to a shelter if you feel threatened. Thank you Rebos