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Experience Over 39years of experience in the field of alcoholism and alcoholic recovery.
Just1crazygirl wrote at 2006-08-05 00:27:49
I read this posting and could some what relate. I have been seeing a man for 6 months. When we first met yes he drank...it has been with time that I see how much. The more I am with him, the more I see how much he reminds me of my dad. I grew up with an alcoholic father. Dad is still alive and is still drinking. My parents are still married. However my mother is on Paxil and goes to counseling just to deal with my dad. I find myself in an odd situation because I have begged my mother to leave my dad. She wont do it. She's from the old school..you just dont leave. Ironically, I feel like I am now my mother. My boyfriend and I do not have kids together, between the two of us we have 4 kids. I have never mentioned his drinking to him. More or less I think I ignored it till recently. We took a trip to Memphis 2 weeks ago, we went to Beale Street. I will call it a drunk fest for Rob. HE started at noon and drank till midnight. I cant do that. I just dont have it in me. We go back to our hotel room, he passes out. Except an hour later, he wakes up, walks over to the other bed, lays on it, mind you his naked, and he starts to Pee on the floor!!! Of course anyone reading this might be laughing by now, but trust me at the time I wasnt. The next morning when I decided to enlighten him at what he had done, he of course didnt remember and laughed it off and said " be glad I didnt pee on you." Yeah ok that made me mad. Several incidents like that have taken place....he has wet the bed which was a shocker to me. He drinks everyday. Maybe one day a week he wont drink. And that day is spent laying on the couch. He decided one evening after drinking, we were laying in bed, that he wanted to quit his job of 13 years. So at 11 at night he has me drive him to work, he grabs his stuff, and says a few rude things and leaves. I am thinking OMG he has lost his mind. He is now job hunting, and took $$$ out of his 401K to live on till he finds a job. He has been rude to me and my youngest daughter while he is drinking. He says things that would shock a priest. When I tell him what he has said, he of course apologizes blah blah blah. Only, two days later he is what I call " on a tear" again, meaning anyone in his path is doing something wrong. The kids left a soda can out, there is a piece of food in the sink. It can be anything. Consequently I am a nervous wreck because lately it seems to be getting worse. Two nights ago I was crying, he couldnt figure out why, then announced " that he didnt need to be with anyone unstable like me". That remark went right thru me. I am not unstable. I thought, ok he is!!! I see the good side of him when he is sober. Which is basically when he first wakes up. He is nice, calm, totally different person. My warning sign should have been, he has been married three times, twice to the same woman. His first ex called me one day and asked me if I knew what I was getting myself into. I always believed you should accept someone as they are, and not change them. However, this is now affecting my kids. There is never any intimacy between us unless he has been drinking. I have mentioned this and he has said he is not an affectionate person. He is definite not lying about that. So why is it so hard for me to leave? I swore I would never live like my mother.
