Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 7/23/2007

Question
QUESTION: hi i am Amanda and me and my family have been dealing with my grandfather being a alcoholic for sometime now.... the thing is that when he wakes up in the morning he has 2 take a drink of rum....which he is not allowed to have... he goes to the liquor store and buys his own bottle of rum then he hides it out side somewhere....he goes out there and drinks some of it everyday...me my gma and brother have found at least 10 bottles of his...some where full some weren't....the thing is that when he drinks that stuff he yells at every1 4 everything he will find something 2 yell at u 4 and he will never drop the subject...he also falls down alot... my mom and aunt cant stand 2 come around him anymore cuz he tells my mom she is a worthless mother and she isnt....my gpa is retired and has been 4 lk 3 or4 years and ever since then he has gotten worse....he never used 2 b lk this....he never does anything his wife (my gma) asked him 2 do so she has 2 do it all...My gma cant say anything 2 him with out him starting a fight .... My gma doesnt no wat 2 do anymore she cant talk 2 him cuz he yells at her....i some1 else trys to talk 2 him he will go beac 2 my gma and b lk y did u tell them that its none of there business...so we cant talk 2 him...... the last thing is he never goes 2 the doctor 4 his blood work he was supposed 2 go 3 wks ago but he keeps putting it off and he is supposed 2 go 2 the doctor 4 his shoulder but he puts that off 2......The ? is how r we supposed 2 get him 2 go get help 4 his problem?....he dosent think he has 1...and how do i get him 2 b lk he was 5 years ago??? and wat should my gma do if he dnt change???

ANSWER: Dear Amanda

If he won't stop drinking, there isn't much you can do. There are people known as interventionists who will come to you home and have the family ask the alcoholic to go into rehab, but if he doesn't want to stop drinking, it won't do much good. It sounds like he wants to die and is committing suicide with alcohol. There are groups that help people hurt by alcoholism, alanon and alateen are very helpful for people like you and your grandmother.

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QUESTION: do u have a number for that person??? and another thing is wat should my gma do??? and do u think that it would do any good 4 his me (granddaughter) to tell him how i feel about it??

Answer
Dear Amanda

I would need to know where you live to find if there is an intervention specialist in your area. If you mean would he stop drinking if you told him how you feel, who knows. It would do you some good to tell him how you feel for  your own peace of mind. You Grandmother should go to alanon meetings. They can tell her what to do.