Expert: james52144@earthlink.net - 11/23/2006

Question
My boyfriend has a problem with drink. I love him to bits and he is a great person, he will do anything for me and worships me to death. The only problem he does have is that he drinks a lot. He does work and he seems to be much fitter then i am, but i know that the amount of alcohol he does drink cant be doing his insides much good. He does admit that he has a problem but won't seek medical help/ He did give up drinking all on his own for about 6 months. He stared to look great and we got on great, but then he went and played golf and had a pint after the match and whamm we back to the start. Only a few days ago he actually said that the drink has got him by the balls and he hates it. So i said why don't we both go toy our doctors and get the help that you need. I will support him all the way, but he insists that he can do it on his own/ I belive that he can but ain't that dangerous? What else can i do other then support him. I love him to death but sometimes and only sometimes he can be two different people. The person i love and the person i dread. Can you please give me some advice. I need to help a man who in his own way is crying out for help.!!!!!!

Answer
Dear jackie

He can to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. I recommend that you read "Codependent No More", which helps people who love alcoholics. It doesn't sound like he has gotten to where the pain is bad enought to stop just yet. If you encourage him to go to AA he may just save his life.