Expert: Clyde - 10/8/2007

Question
My mother has been a full blow alcoholic for about four years now. I am only 19 and don't know very much about this. The rest of my family lives in a different state so I am the only family she has right now. My main question is that my sister wants to have her sent to a rehab program away from everyone. Is this the best thing for her? Does she need to be by her self and have no contact with us until she is out of rehab?

Answer
Brooke,
  Thank you for your question regarding your mom's alcoholism.
  The question of intervention (when family arranges for someone to be sent to rehab), is a delicate one.  The degree of the abuse of alcohol, behaviors while intoxicated, perceived threats of the person to themselves or others, all play a vital part in the decision.  Equally important is the person's attitude about their drinking - do they admit that they are having a problem or are they in denial that there is anything wrong?; has the family confronted them about their drinking?; are they amiable to someone making suggestions about getting help?
   Those are all important to answering the question about how the intervention should be accomplished.  If they are even remotely aware of their problem drinking then some discussion can then ensue as to how to get the help one needs.  Talking about in-patient (usually 30 days away from the home environment) versus out-patient (usually 5 - 30 days of scheduled sessions) will be necessary. Perhaps even just getting in contact with a local Alcoholics Anonymous group and attending meetings there would be the best approach.  You can find AA in the yellow  or white pages of your local phone book.
  All these various options are only as good as the person's willingness to admit they need help.  Any of these must be chosen because the person feels one option is preferred over the other.  It will be up to that person as to whether they go away from family or not.  The decision must be made with the idea in mind that they are going for themselves and not for any other reason - not family, job, etc.
 If your mother is completely uncooperative then, by all means, sending her to a in-patient treatment facility for extensive treatment is best and I would suggest should be done with a minimal amount of family involvement or visits for the 30 days.  This time on her own will give her plenty of time to really think about what she is doing and what she may lose if she continues to drink alcoholically.  The facility will set guidelines on the visitations and I would suggest following their suggestions based on your mother's particular case.
 Hope this helps,
Grace and Peace,
Clyde