AboutJohn Hendrix Expertise I can answer questions regarding treatment of Substance-related disorders using Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and Motivational Enhancement Therapy.
Experience I am an Internationally Certified Alcohol and Drug Counselor (ICADC) and have a Bachelors degree in Psychology.
Question Hi there, I have just come to the realization that my husband truly has a problem. And it is effecting our marriage. He of course doesn't see it. What are the first steps I should take to help him. It's really hard to even get him to admit his problem. He gets intoxicated from just one beer, and when he has 2 he's knocked out. I am so scared, and I have no idea what to do. Please help! Thanks, V
Answer I am sorry to hear that your husband is causing stress in your relationship right now. It is always sad when alcohol comes between two people.
As a first step, I suggest you find a time when your has not consumed any alcohol and ask to discuss the problem calmly, if this is possible for him. Before the discussion, you can prepare a list of your expectations for your husband's behavior. These might include that he drink less or not at all, or that he do so only under certain conditions. Also, you might offer some changes you are willing to make to help him meet your expectations. By making this offer perhaps you can avoid having him become defensive.
I also can recommend that you consider attending a support group for those who are dealing with a family member who has an alcohol problem. Many cities have meetings of Al-Anon and you can usually find the telephone number for more information in your local phone book or online. The meetings are free and anonymous and you are free to choose whether to continue attending regularly.
Finally, because your husband becomes intoxicated on such small quantities of alcohol, he should schedule an appointment with a physician. This low tolerance to the effects of alcohol, for someone who has drank regularly for a considerable number of months or years, might indicate that his liver is no longer processing the alcohol as intended. I am not a doctor, but this condition is not unusual and does require attention.
I am including a web address that lets an individual see for himself how serious his use of alcohol is at the present time. If your husband is open to the idea, he can then answer a brief questionnaire on the site.
Your fear is normal in a situation such as yours, but remember that you did not cause your husband's drinking problem, nor can you fix it. He must be willing to make changes himself. You can assist him in doing so, and my hope is that your marriage can be the kind of relationship you need and want. I wish you the best.
