Expert: Jan Edward Williams - 12/4/2007

Question
i have been saved recenlty and my husband who is younger then me we have been married for two years and he said this coming year he wants to go to bars and get beer everyday. I told him this was a bad idea becuase the last time he drank like that he cheated on me.  I cant tell him what to do. btu how can i make him see that drinking isnt what its cracked up to be. we have a son together and i also said becuase of your son he shouldnt drink. He to me os acting like drinking is more important then family he wont go and get help for it becuase he doesn't think he has a problem. I am also worried about money becuase we dont make alot. and if he is going to bars all the time we wont have to much money left. He keeps telling me that it won't be like before. But i don't believe him.

Answer
Hi Brianne,
Bless you for seeking help for your husband's drinking problem. A sign of a drinking problem is use in the face of problems, including tension in a relationship such as yours. It also sounds as if there is a history of problems involving your husband's drinking, including his cheating on you; behavior against one's value system is also an indicator of a problem (I assume he is faithful to his vows when sober). If your husband were not an alcoholic, why would he be saying he wants to drink at bars (not what married men are supposed to be doing) and drink EVERY DAY? So, though I do not have enough information to diagnose your husband as alcoholic, he sure sounds like one. I suggest that you attend meetings of Al-Anon, http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ There you can get spiritual help in addition to strength from Jesus (you mentioned you were saved), learn about how to help yourself, and not enable your husband's drinking. You can check my website (copy and paste it into your browser): http://www.alcoholdrugsos.com/FamilyAddictionsCounselingonline.html for more information, and contact me here: jwilliams@alcoholdrugsos.com
Good luck and ask God for the strength to help yourself and your son.
Jan Williams