You are here:

Addiction to Alcohol/how to lead a step one share meeting

Advertisement

Expert: Joseph Lee O. - 12/11/2007


Question
i will be leading a meeting where a member will be sharing his first step with our group, which is new. is there anything different we should do or consider doing for the meeting? he has already shared his step 1 with his sponsor.

Answer
Greetings to you, Roger.

Without knowing how your group’s meetings are usually conducted, it is difficult to offer much specific advice here.  Personally, I often try to “set the stage” a bit by reading something from “Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book ... and in this case, two primary things come to mind:

1) “Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now.” (page 58)
2) “Many of us felt that we had plenty of character.  There was a tremendous urge to cease forever.  Yet we found it impossible.  This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it - this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish.” (page 34)

After reading those things, I would share a little about my sponsor explaining to me that talking about “what *we* used to be like, what happened [to bring about a change], and what *we* are like now” is much different than rambling around about what “it” used to be like and/or what “it” is like today, and I would then briefly share my own experience with what I used to be like: I was powerless to control my drinking once I started, and I was powerless to stay sober once I had stopped.  As shared on page 30:

“Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics.  No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows.”  However, Step One is precisely about discovering, accepting and admitting precisely that.

I hope that helps, my fellow, and please know you are welcomed to write any time!

Joseph Lee O.
leejosepho@hotmail.com

Addiction to Alcohol

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts

Volunteer

Joseph Lee O.

Expertise

Greetings to you! Amidst the insufficiency of all the philosophical, religious and “self-help” approaches to relief from chronic alcoholism, I have personally experienced the content of “Alcoholics Anonymous”, the book. Thus, I can now explain at least the essence of the physical, mental and emotional aspects of an alcoholic's inherent condition and plight, and I can show why a spiritual solution is required and how it works and how to attain one.

Experience

The oldest of four boys, I grew up in a religious, Midwestern-USA family. Unable to decline a friendly offer in a social setting, I had "no effective mental defense against the first drink" ("Alcoholics Anonymous", the book, page 43), and took my very first drink ever at age 24 ... and within minutes I had become obsessed with getting more of the effect that glass of homemade wine had given me. Alcohol had just done something *for* me that nothing else had ever done; it had seemingly "fixed" something inside me I had not even known was broken. Over the next seven years of my life, I "drank up" just about everything and everyone ever meaning much to me at all, and I eventually abandoned my young family so I could drink and smoke pot at will. For, you see, alcohol was giving me a good-to-go feeling about life and a sense of control I had never before had, and at least in the early days of my drinking it could kill just about any pain that came along. At age 31, however, circumstances and consequences had piled up all around me in ways that were making it obvious I could not continue on much longer. Life had become too tough, my pains had grown too great and the dangers of continuing to drink had become too undeniable for me to be able to continue believing I might ultimately survive an inescapable drop to the bottom of the pit. I still wanted to be able to drink safely as in days past, but something had seemingly "taken over" my drinking and was dragging me completely out-of-control after just one drink. So, and even while completely overwhelmed by the thought of facing life alcohol-free, I decided to stop drinking altogether ... and I quickly discovered I could not. No matter what I said, thought or did even just "one day at a time", I always ended up drinking once again. Where I wanted to drink safely, I could not, and neither could I remain abstinent for very long at all ... and such is the physical "allergy" (where one drink takes another) coupled with alcoholism’s mental-emotional obsession for the effect of alcohol ... ... but then I met a small group of people who personally understood my deadly dilemma - my complete personal powerlessness - and those same folks were quite able to propose a permanent solution. I accepted, of course, and today it is as if I "could not drink even if [I] would" ("Alcoholics Anonymous", the book, page 57), and for that I now remain unendingly grateful.

©2012 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.